“If you let the past into your present you will destroy your future”
Being alone these past couple of days has really opened my eyes to everything. I have grown so much over the years and overcame so many things. I can only continue to look into my past and learn from it. I have struggled to let go of certain things in my past and they have caused me problems. But I have finally decided it is time to let it go. I can’t change what happened, I can’t worry and dwell on what if’s or could of beens. I have to take what I have at the present moment and run with it.
Over the years, I have been in relationships and learned a lot from them. At first, I would always blame myself once the relationship was over. Then, before I knew it I was talking to someone new. I never really took the time to fully heal. I never took the time to think about being okay and alone. I always wanted to find someone because i felt i needed someone to make me complete. I know now you can only find what completes you in yourself. You are the only one who can make yourself whole. Peace is in us all, as well as love. We do not need another person to find these things because they exist in all of us. I always made the mistake of telling myself overwise, that I needed my partner to be happy, and without them I wouldn’t know what to do. Currently, me and my ex are seperated and I am desperately hoping we can get back together. I have realized that I do not need him to make me happy, but I want him. I am so glad I have been able to break apart my feelings and find exactly what they mean. Everything happens for a reason, I believe this happened so I could stop carrying the baggage, and emotions of my past on my shoulder. It is over, nothing more can be done. I have to forgive those who have wronged me, screwed me over, and disrespected me, cause the truth be told I am the one who is hurting, not them. Now, I can live my life freely because I am finally living in the present moment. I can see everything I did wrong in my past relationships, I see two possibile outcomes.
1. Me and Brant will talk things out, and work on our personal issues. We will know what our mistakes are and and decide on how to make our relationship healthier and stronger, hopefully it will bring us closer in the end. We will both have to make sacirfices in order for it to work, it is never a one-way street.
2. I will have to let him go, focus on getting over him, and not find another person for a long time. Really take time to heal so everything won’t carry on to my next relationship.
People think you have to be alone to work on your problems but that isn’t true, I plan to continue to look in my past and learn from it. I will be at peace with either outcome and I know I will be okay.
We never really need someone else, and once you come to that realization, wanting someone feels way better than believing you need them. Positive thoughts and feelings are the key to recovery. Any emotion that is weighing you down, analyize why you feel that way, what happened, and decide to let it go and get your life back. Regret, guilt, and fear can consume you. When you figure out the root of why you feel that way, you will understand yourself and feel more in control of your life. Your insecurites will tear you apart, I used to always feel like I was never good enough and i didn’t deserve to have happiness. I used to feel unworthy of life, and hated who I was. Now I can look in the mirror and love who I am. It is so important to love yourself because if you don’t how can you expect to ever be with someone else and love them, if you as a person can’t see love in yourself?
Figure out what you want in life, your dreams, you goals, your wants. Be thankful for every person that you have met in life, i strongly believe everyone you meet can influence your life if you let it, you can always benefit from a loss, or a gain of a person in your life. Appreicate the fact you had the chance to live that moment with them, even if it didn’t end the way you wanted. Learn something from it, you owe it to yourself that.
For the first time in life, I am content. I took the hardest situation i have ever been through and turned it around to help me out of the hole I have digging myself into for years. I hope everyone else can who took the time to read this can take something from my experience to help them.