Today, I was taking a shower, enjoying the massage setting on the shower head, and as I glanced up I noticed a spider. My first instinct was fear and to kill it. Then, I stood there frozen because it was directly above me. All I kept thinking was that is was going to fall on me at any second. Suddenly, I didn’t feel scared anymore nor did I want it dead. I wanted it to move from it’s spot above my head so I could continue my shower. The only logical thing I could think of was too throw water near the spider in order to guide it to the corner. I felt as if I did a good thing by allowing it to survive and rest in the corner of the ceiling.
Tonight, I decide I would like a bath. I glance up by instinct, remembering the spider from earlier. It is still tucked away in the corner minding it’s own business. Then, I felt a rush of happiness and clarity wash over me in that moment of recognizing the spider in my shower. In all honestly, me and that spider are indeed quite alike. The spider is most likely frightened by the loud noise of the running water and the huge person that as accompanied the shower with it. If it would have been days, weeks, maybe months ago, I would have smashed it without a second thought. But, it dawned on me that it is not my choice to take away it’s life. Maybe I’m being melodramatic but I felt I did the right thing by leaving the spider alone. (I wonder if it is the same one I spared the other night in the bathroom) Anyways, me and the spider have something obvious in common and that is life. It deserves life just as much as I do. We both didn’t chose our places in this world. We both have no idea what is going to happen to us at any given time. We both are enjoying our lives by being alone, tucked away. Not that I am completely alone, but here lately I have felt distant and pushed aside from others. We both found ourselves in a shower. Funny how life can throw these little moments of appreciation at you..
The spider is still there. I don’t have any plans to kill to or bother it at all. I can only wish the best for it and hope that my sister doesn’t spot it up there because it will be the end of the world if the poor thing is seen. She is terrified of them. I used to be scared of them as well, up until the moment I stood frozen. It occurred to me that there is nothing to fear. Of course, let’s hope it is not poisonous. I strongly doubt it, if it is I may have to kill it for my own safety unfortunately. It is a creature, just as you and I. So, I will let it be. Let it finds it’s way in this world, just as I have to. When you think about it, it is a beautiful thing. That my life and the spider’s shared a moment of fear and clarity together. We connected, even as a completely different species. I understood the spider. (Now as long as they stay off of me I will always feel this way towards them. I would be unpredictable if I felt something crawling on me.)
Life is a gift. It should be appreciated, even something as small as an insect’s life. It is still life. At the end of the day, we should be thankful to be alive and appreciate all of life’s little moments. I will never forget what happened today and I will continue to smile every time I notice the spider still in the corner of my shower. And once I don’t see it anymore, I will hope that it found it’s place as I will find mine.