An edited version of my blog post about wishful thinking. I hope each and every one of you can take something from this. Please give me your opinons if you take the time to read. Thank you guys 🙂
As defined, Wishful thinking is the formation of beliefs and making decisions according to what might be pleasing to imagine instead of by appealing to evidence, rationality, or reality. It is a product of resolving conflicts between belief and desire.
Wishful thinking can conquer your happiness, cause you to become depressed, and even cause anxiety. It is a very unhealthy and harmful way to live your life based strictly on “wishful thinking”. With any situation, you should always “hope for the best, and expect the worst”. When you are constantly thinking negative thoughts about your life or someone in it, it really can hurt you. Only thinking positive thoughts can hurt you as well. You wouldn’t think that always looking on the bright side, or having hope could be a bad thing. It’s all about balancing the good and the bad. You have to balance your thoughts and learn how to control them. Wishful thinking is not a bad thing. Just like anything else, you can have too much of a good thing. If you strictly think about the good outcomes, you will be much more disappointed if things do not go your way. You can only get your hopes up and your heart broke so many times before something finally clicks. A wake-up call. A slap in the face by reality. It isn’t going to be easy in the beginning, it is going to take time to learn how to manage your thoughts so be prepared for the struggle.
Start by living your life for the moment. In reality, all we ever have is the moment. You have the accept the fact that you have no control over what is going to happen in the future with other people. Sure, you can prepare for your own future and in a way you will determine your own future. For example, you can control your education, job, and who you choose to associate yourself with. But, you can not control how other people are going to treat you. It doesn’t matter how much you worry, the truth is you never know when someone will be out of your life. Unfornately, death may take them away from your life or they may simply chose another path causing you to lose contact with them. Whatever happens, it is ultimately beyond your control when it comes to other people actions, thoughts, and emotions.
When it comes to “dating”, wishful thinking can be a HUGE problem. You really have to take time to get to know someone before having thoughts of being with a certain individual. Wishful thinking is completely fine when you like someone, but always look at the situation with a realistic view point instead of judging things based on your emotions. When dating someone, you are getting to know them and enjoying their company. You have to give you relationship time to develop. It can be scary when feelings start to develop for another person because you become more vulnerable, and wishful thinking happens more frequently. You are only choosing to share your life with someone: Give them your love, invest your time, and risk your heart. No big deal, right? Be smart and be honest with yourself. It is necessary to really take some time to get to know who that person is before you can make that decision. Be sure to look at things for the moment, and try not to put too much hope into someone when you first meet them. You shouldn’t allow yourself to get caught up in the “idea” of being with that person. Do not convince yourself that you are going to end up being with this person for the rest of your life. You must accept the fact that you may get hurt again, because nothing is ever set in stone.
This type of thinking doesn’t just go for “dating’ but any relationship that you develop with another person. Whether it be friends, or roommates, it going to be a constant risk allowing someone in your life. It is up to you how you decide to deal with your thoughts and emotions. Facing reality and being logical seems like common sense, yet it can be hard if you allow yourself to get caught up in wishful thinking. You must always remember that wishful thinking is strictly based on thoughts of what YOU want to happen with a certain person or situation. Do not forget that those thoughts may not ever come true. Be sure to always look at all the possibilities of the situation in order to accept each and every outcome. Once you accept every outcome, you are setting yourself up for success. You may still get your hopes up. You may still get your heart broken. You may even lose your bestfriend, but at least you will be able to get through it easier because you have already accepted the outcome was a possibility from the very beginning.