Expectation means having a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
Every single one of us struggle with our own personal expectations everyday. But, we can change that, by letting them go. Personally, this is has been very difficult for me, because at one point in my life I told myself I was going to let go of all expectations. I thought I had, but lately I have been extra moody, up and down, and feeling not myself. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me until today. I read this article on Facebook: http://www.the-open-mind.com/3-ways-youre-making-your-life-harder-than-it-has-to-be/. Everything suddenly makes more sense. I am struggling with a huge wave of disappointments. Instead of living my life in the moment and taking things as they present themselves to me, I had previously made expectations about how my life should be. For example, I had to quit my job a couple of weeks ago, because it was such a negative environment and it was causing me great stress. Now, I see that I could have been happier there if I would of let go of my expectations. I expected it to be a great place to work with fun people I could learn from. So, when I found out it wasn’t going to be that I was greatly disappointed. Another example, is my relationship with my boyfriend. This past week I have wanted to leave him, because I haven’t been happy. Now, I understand why, it is because he isn’t the person I expected him to be. Not in a bad way, but my mind was telling me it was bad that he isn’t exactly what I thought he would be. Nobody is going to be what you expected. Nobody could ever live up to someone’s standards 100% of the time. We have to learn to let go of what we think of someone and accept who they are. Keeping in the mind that people change, as we change ourselves. It is all apart of life. If you aren’t changing then you may not be growing as an individual.
The last expectation that has been weighing on my mind is my fitness journey. I expected that I would have a six pack by now, show more definition in my body, and be healthier. I didn’t think that things would be this hard, or that I would fail many many times before I would succeed. I am still trying to do better. I have to let go of how I think I should look, or feel and just be thankful for how I feel and look right now. Smile, take a deep breath, and tell myself things can only get better from this moment on. IF, I want them to. I can’t see progress if I keep looking behind me.
So, how do I let go of my expectations once and for all? I suppose the only way is to practice mindfulness. By realizing that the only thing that exists is the here and now. Things are going to happen the way the are meant to happen. Worrying about how they are going to occur isn’t going to change things. Stressing over “what if’s” and “wish I would of’s”, isn’t going to benefit you in any way. The constant weight of disappointments can leave you feeling depressed and moody. That isn’t how life should be. We have to realize we do not have control of every situation, we only have control over how we react to a situation. We can control our own emotions and thoughts, but not the events going on around us. Letting go of the things we can not control, will ultimately change our own perspective of our life.
Now that I have found out the source of my unhappiness, I must find a way to change things within myself. I am still on my path of healing. I started this blog over a year ago, and I am not completely okay yet with my mental state. And to be honest, I probably won’t ever be 100% okay with it, because everyday there is going to be a new challenge I am going to have to face. Another anxiety to work on, or even something from my past I am going to have to let go of. The journey is an on-going process for me, that is something that I shouldn’t ignore. I won’t stop trying to get better and from this point on I will try my hardest not to have any expectations in my life. I will accept the way things are and let go of how I think they should be.