*Like the picture in the top of this canyon, life can be complex to look at when you don’t know what you are looking at or looking for. When you are wandering about in life with no idea what direction you want to go in. Your options can blend together, like the different colors of the minerals on the rock’s surface.*
Well, I knew this day would surely come again, but not now. I didn’t anticipate to quit my job two days ago. I just didn’t expect this change and I am not sure what direction to go in next. I am holding on to hope that this is what is meant to be and really trust that this is what is suppose to be happening in this moment. I have a tendency to worry and overthink every thing that happens in my life. I have to sit around and analyze it for hours and I am just not wanting to do that this time around. I have my bills paid for this month. I am entitled to taking some days to recharge, brainstorm, and take it easy. I think I deserve that much, because I have been struggling emotionally, physically, and mentally. Just feeling very worn out about half the time. I am also single, record breaking, going on 8 months now. But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried dating. I can’t seem to find a guy who wants to stick around and actually create something real together. Dating is confusing and right now that is something I don’t need. A relationship is the least of my worries, because I can’t even be happy on my own some days, but when I get down it does sound nice to have that person to vent to again.
Anyway, I want to go on a quick rant about society and the workforce.
I have determined that I don’t really want to be apart of society’s corporate greed which means really trying to find a company who isn’t apart of the system. I really want to work somewhere local, authentic and for a company that shares the same moral values as me. I may make less money, but maybe that is what needs to happen right now. I am not sure if I want to continue in the food and beverage industry, like I need a break.
Society wants to make it out like a bad thing if you are not working, but sometimes people need a break, because not everybody handles stress the same. Not every body experiences the same hardships whether they are mental, physical, or emotional problems. I am fortunate to still be at home and not forced to get in debt with all the bills I don’t feel I need. I am completely okay living at home. I am guilty of allowing what other people may think about me really bother me. I assume people are going to judge me a certain way and it’s tough to ignore those thoughts at times.
Soon enough, I will certainly figure out what direction I need to take in order for me to be happy, make money, and accomplish my goals. For now, I am taking some time to clear my mind.