Category Archives: Relationship Advice

Thank You

There are some things in life that we must go through the hard way. We have to go through hell and back over and over again, in order for us to understand what it takes to stay in heaven and truly appreciate it.

Personally, I thought that I would be able to focus on myself, my goals, and my daily lifestyle while managing a relationship with someone. Since I have been in many failed relationships, I have discovered that being single is exactly what I need to do. Right now, it is difficult, but easier than it has been in the past and I am incredibly fortunate for this opportunity. If all of those relationships and situations with men wouldn’t have failed, then I would have never found myself.

I am still discovering who I am, so if anything I want to tell all my exes who break up with me, hurt me, used me, etc. Thank you.

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Recognizing Patterns

I don’t know about you guys, but I make a mental note about every experience I have with every person I spend time with. I think it is a very smart and wise decision to observe those who you allow to be apart of your life. You have to take in everything about them, from how they talk to what kind of hobbies they have. You must ask them questions about their life and actually get to know who they are. Also, you must ask yourself how do you feel around this person? What kind of activities do you practice when you are spending time together? How is the relationship between the two of you? Do you two get along? Have things in common? Do they make you happy? Upset?

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself if the person are you spending time with is having a positive or negative affect on you. You owe it to yourself to maintain a mental journal of all of the relationships you have with others. You have to be aware of them, because sometimes it is not easy to spot someone who may be bringing you down. On the other hand, you may not realize how much someone means to you, until you really think about why you continue to allow them in your life.

As an individual, it is your responsibility to make judgments and observations about the people you meet, who you call your friends, and even those who are apart of your family. Once you start mentally noting how they affect you and what kind of person they are, you can determine whether or not you want to be involved with them. There are some people who may be draining your energy or bringing bad vibes into your life and you may be too distracted by your expectations and thoughts of them that you fail to realize how they truly are.

It is easy to create an illusion in your mind due to the thoughts you are thinking. You need to give yourself time to judge someone, because you want to give them a fair shot, but you also don’t want to drag out the amount of time you spend with them. Most of the time, we are oblivious to how people really are because we have created this mental image of how we want them to be, and/or how we want the relationship to go. For example, this could be with a friend. You may think the friendship is strong and worth keeping, but if they aren’t investing as much time and energy as you are, then you should focus your energy and time elsewhere.

Remember to always recognize the patterns with those you are in contact with. If negative things happen too often when you are involved with them, then you have to decide what is best for you. If things are going great, you may be worrying too much about the bad, so you should take time to let those concerns go. Take a step back and analyze the relationships in your life, figure out who is worth your time, and swift your energy into all relationships that are going to benefit you. This can be a devastating process. More than likely, you are going to have to minimize your friends, cut people out of your life, and start building relationships with people who you previously didn’t think you should. No matter how tough this is, or how many people you lose; you have to understand this cleanup is required.

Start recognizing patterns and watch positive ones come into play!