Tag Archives: change

Adjusting to Life

Life is consistently changing from day to day. Each and every day something new awaits for each and every one of us. We are always adjusting to the whatever it is that life gives us, whether it be for the better or for the worst. You just have to remember that what ever you are going through is temporary and that you will get through it. There is always a way to make your life better, even if it seems as if things are not going the way you want them to go. You must create the necessary measurements in order for things to continue to go in the direction that is going to benefit you the most. Even if it is not the way you want to go, you must realize that sometimes we must go down paths we don’t want to go, so we can reach our destination. Just because things seem harder and more complicated doesn’t mean it isn’t worth pursuing. It just means that you may have to work a little harder, or walk a little farther so you can get to the place you want to go. While you arrive there, you will be thankful for the struggles and obstacles that stood in your way.

Life is all about balance. Finding a way to do all the things you want to do, while doing the things you have to do to survive. It can seem impossible at times, but with determination you will figure out a way to make it happen. All you have to do is want for it to happen. Stay positive and focus on your goals and dreams. Accept that things are not going to happen instantly. You must put in countless hours and keep a positive mind to be where you want to be in your life. But once you are there, all you will be able to do is smile.

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Expectations: Letting Go

Expectation means having a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Every single one of us struggle with our own personal expectations everyday. But, we can change that, by letting them go. Personally, this is has been very difficult for me, because at one point in my life I told myself I was going to let go of all expectations. I thought I had, but lately I have been extra moody, up and down, and feeling not myself. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me until today. I read this article on Facebook: http://www.the-open-mind.com/3-ways-youre-making-your-life-harder-than-it-has-to-be/. Everything suddenly makes more sense. I am struggling with a huge wave of disappointments. Instead of living my life in the moment and taking things as they present themselves to me, I had previously made expectations about how my life should be. For example, I had to quit my job a couple of weeks ago, because it was such a negative environment and it was causing me great stress. Now, I see that I could have been happier there if I would of let go of my expectations. I expected it to be a great place to work with fun people I could learn from. So, when I found out it wasn’t going to be that I was greatly disappointed. Another example, is my relationship with my boyfriend. This past week I have wanted to leave him, because I haven’t been happy. Now, I understand why, it is because he isn’t the person I expected him to be. Not in a bad way, but my mind was telling me it was bad that he isn’t exactly what I thought he would be. Nobody is going to be what you expected. Nobody could ever live up to someone’s standards 100% of the time. We have to learn to let go of what we think of someone and accept who they are. Keeping in the mind that people change, as we change ourselves. It is all apart of life. If you aren’t changing then you may not be growing as an individual.

The last expectation that has been weighing on my mind is my fitness journey. I expected that I would have a six pack by now, show more definition in my body, and be healthier. I didn’t think that things would be this hard, or that I would fail many many times before I would succeed. I am still trying to do better. I have to let go of how I think I should look, or feel and just be thankful for how I feel and look right now. Smile, take a deep breath, and tell myself things can only get better from this moment on. IF, I want them to. I can’t see progress if I keep looking behind me.

So, how do I let go of my expectations once and for all? I suppose the only way is to practice mindfulness. By realizing that the only thing that exists is the here and now. Things are going to happen the way the are meant to happen. Worrying about how they are going to occur isn’t going to change things. Stressing over “what if’s” and “wish I would of’s”, isn’t going to benefit you in any way.  The constant weight of disappointments can leave you feeling depressed and moody. That isn’t how life should be. We have to realize we do not have control of every situation, we only have control over how we react to a situation. We can control our own emotions and thoughts, but not the events going on around us. Letting go of the things we can not control, will ultimately change our own perspective of our life.

Now that I have found out the source of my unhappiness, I must find a way to change things within myself. I am still on my path of healing. I started this blog over a year ago, and I am not completely okay yet with my mental state. And to be honest, I probably won’t ever be 100% okay with it, because everyday there is going to be a new challenge I am going to have to face. Another anxiety to work on, or even something from my past I am going to have to let go of. The journey is an on-going process for me, that is something that I shouldn’t ignore. I won’t stop trying to get better and from this point on I will try my hardest not to have any expectations in my life. I will accept the way things are and let go of how I think they should be.

Change of Plans

Sometimes we really think we have our lives figured out and then our plans crumble right in front of our eyes. This could be looked at as tragic or as a blessing. Change is never easy but it is necessary.

My entire life I have been involved in the food industry. I took Culinary Arts in High school and stuck with it all through the years and even went to college for it. Now I have my associate’s degree. I also went to Bartending school which was some-what a waste of about 700 dollars. Fun experiences but nobody will hire me without experience from a bar somewhere. Go figure! What I am getting at is I am about to change my whole world around. I am looking for a desk job. Reason being is that I had surgery back in January on my left foot. At first, it hurt but not that bad, it was tolerable. My job threw two doubles a week at me for the past two weeks. The last few shifts have really knocked me on my ass. My foot hurts incredibly. It stays swollen and I have developed a limp. I can’t live my life like this. For example, this morning around 1ish  I went out downtown with a few co-workers and a buddy of theirs. It was a good time but irresponsible. I had a bad limp walking. It’s like as long as I am on my feet it is fine but as soon as I sit down I am screwed. Basically, I have to keep walking on it to “loosen” it up. It sucks so much and it is kinda embarrassing but I wanted to go out. Not that brightest of ideas. I forgot my ID when we were almost there. My fellow co-worker, who I barely know, says well take my car back and grab your ID. I’m thinking this isn’t a good idea at all but I don’t really have much choice. It was a stupid decision on her part and I don’t know why she would trust me with her car. I was with Luke. Yes, the immature asshole from work, the one who I have already slept with his bestfriend. He’s a red-flag. But he asked me to hang out, and since I already had plans I decided to ask him to come along. No harm done. Except he’s cute and constantly flirting around me. But I am in control and I have resisted any temptations with him. Although, I am starting to believe I am attracted to the guys I know are a bad idea. It is quite strange but I can see this pattern within myself. I suppose it is true we always want what we can not have. In this case I can not have him because he is not good for me. Blah.

Anyways, I am hoping for this desk job at my cousin’s job. It starts off at 17 an hour then goes to 15 an hour with a possible 1000 a month incentive. If I can land that job it would be perfect. 40 hours a week, Monday-Friday. If I don’t get that one, there is another one open for 12 an hour. These jobs involve collecting money from hospitals and customers over the phone. It doesn’t seem like it would be that different to learn. I am a fast learner. Also, one more option I have is at a place this guy on my facebook works at. Two positions. Customer service 16 an hour, land transportation( I think) 14.50 an hour. So I have 4 options. All amazing pay. All I can do is have hope that I will get one of them. I need something reliable and with benefits. I am getting older and I have to start planning for my future. Serving tables aren’t gonna cut it like I thought it would.

Another new change, I am 90 percent sure I am going back to college for business. Not only would it give me more options for jobs but I may still be able to pursue my goal in the future. Opening my own catering business. I love to cook but I haven’t in months, due to surgery, break-up, working, laziness, etc. But no more! Tuesday night, it’s on! I am gonna cook my favorite chicken dish. It is not going to be easy because this was my ex-boyfriend’s favorite thing I made for him and it was the last meal I made when he decided not to show up and send me a text saying it was over for good. WONDERFUL. So needless to say I am going to be emotionally challenged but I am not going to let it stop me. My mom also really loves this dish and I am going to use that as my motivation to replace the negative emotions and thoughts of my ex. She has done so much for me and helped me in ridiculous amounts. I feel it is the least I could do is make this for her. Not to mention we didn’t even have an Easter dinner. I wanted to make it tonight, but my foot is so bad. The past few days, when I got off I asked my mom to bring the crutches to the car cause I didn’t want to put anymore pressure on it. I usually get my ice pack but lately, I have been going straight to the bath. I can’t live this way…I can take physical pain pretty well but I have cried and cried because of this pain in my foot. I can’t take it anymore. I hope by cutting back my hours this week it won’t be so hard on me. Rant over. College, work, and new opportunities in my future. Single and honestly, I don’t have time for someone when I need to figure out all these things for myself! No need for disappointments. If something happens, then it happens but I am not going out of my way to find it.

A Little Bit of Inspiration

The past is a hard place to quit living in. The past can crawl underneath your skin and haunt you everyday of the present moment if you let it. We all make mistakes, do things we wish we could take back. Even say things that we should have been left unsaid. Some people struggle with the memories of yesterdays and the worries of tomorrow on their shoulders all the time. Many turn to the evil that lays in a bottle or the false happiness of smoke the feels the air while other have a safer practice by getting lost in stories from books.

We all have an escape. We all have a place that we can go to make it all go away.

But escaping may be what hurts us the most. Ignoring the pain and pushing it aside may seem like the best thing to do in order to live a peaceful life. But always remember. Every untreated wound will continue to bleed until it has finally healed.

In life we strive to make the best of it. We want to make a difference in the world. Change things bigger than life itself. The harsh reality is that you as a person can not change the problems of the world but you can have an affect on it. Starting with yourself.

 

Check out some of my older posts please 🙂

If the past is weighing on your mind…
https://conqueryouremotions.wordpress.com/2014/01/13/positive-thoughts-find-yourself-by-letting-go-of-the-past/

If you are feeling down lately…
https://conqueryouremotions.wordpress.com/2014/01/13/down-in-the-dumps/

Be a Free-Thinker!
https://conqueryouremotions.wordpress.com/2014/01/13/from-the-outside-looking-in/