Tag Archives: depression

Transform from Your Emotions

When you feel as if you are falling apart you should take that has a sign that you are growing. All the emotions you are feeling are proof of this process. These emotions are temporary, yet necessary for your personal journey.

For example, when you feel pain you must understand why you are feeling it by asking yourself questions and digging down deep for the answers. You have to remember that you contain the power to overcome those emotions. If you are lonely you must ask yourself why you are searching for something more than yourself. You have always been enough. You are already complete. Feeling lonely is only an illusion. We are connected with the entire universe. If you are scared you must realize that those feelings of fear do not really exist and that you are allowing your negative thoughts to influence your emotions.

Don’t be afraid to feel.

Emotions are created inside of you, therefore you have the power to control them. You must take a step back, allow yourself to go through them and fully fathom the reason for them. Ultimately, you must decide to let them go once and for all in order to create space in your life for thoughts and energy that is going to benefit you.

This process may break you down. It might tear you to pieces. You may feel as if the process will never be over. Let me tell you something, this process will always repeat itself in some way in your life. That is inevitable. That’s the bittersweet reality of how things are in this existence. You must accept that there can be no light without the dark.

But, hey isn’t it better that way? Think about it, if things went the way you wanted all the time, then you wouldn’t ever appreciate those moments of joy. You wouldn’t understand their worth. You wouldn’t even blink an eye at the good times, but by experiencing pain and grief you learn to appreciate the positive moments. Something as simple as waking up will suddenly turn into the most precious gift. You’re entire mentality will start to change once you understand that you are not meant to be the same person. 

Not everything in life is black and white. It’s the gray areas that are most important. Be cautious some things are not as they appear on the surface. Also, understand that your mind will play tricks on you. You must take control and look at all aspects of life from every perspective you can imagine while driving into your emotions.

Keep in mind, that you aren’t meant to stay in your emotions for long periods of time if they are going to have a negative affect on you. Your emotions are simply tools you must use to understand yourself on a deeper, more intellectual way.

We are all fighting a battle between the good and bad, at times it isn’t going to be clear what is right or wrong. Embrace these times. We don’t make mistakes. We create experiences that give us the opportunity to grow.

You personally must burn, blow up, and explode into someone completely new everyday. You aren’t meant to remain the same, because you were designed for transformation.

Like my Facebook for more convenience to my positivity posts 😀

https://www.facebook.com/Conquer-Your-Emotions-1538118779838221

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DEMONS, DEMONS

“Demons” represent any negative thoughts or energy that may haunt you. For me, demons are things that have hurt me in the past, anything that upsets me or fears in general. Sometimes, I want to stay in the negativity and allow myself to get upset. We are all guilty of this. I just wanted to share and see what the world thinks, I have struggled with anxiety and some depression my entire life, and sharing this allows me to release some of that.

DEMONS, DEMONS

Demons, Demons I don’t know if I am running away or chasing after you?

These thoughts are killing me, yet aide me in such a twisted way
Everyday, loneliness keeps me company, and so do you.

I can’t seem to escape from you, but do I really want to?

Demons, Demons, you’re following me it seems

But, am I holding your hand?

Have I given you the coordinates to my destination?

Or is it you that already knew my plan?

Maybe I don’t want you gone, maybe I want you to come along.

What if, I am running from some, and welcoming others?

Pleasure is laced with darkness sometimes,

Pain wears an unrecognizable disguise.

How could I even tell the difference?

Are you dragging me down or am I pulling you along?

We are inseparable, that is the truth.

I must admit it. I want you here. Yes all of you.

Demons, Demons, you are part of me

It is you that has me chained, and I can’t get free.

Whether or not I have the choice, I’ll never be too sure

Because once I sense you’re not around

I feel myself searching for you once more.

Demons, Demons, oh how I despise you

Thoughts racing through my mind just to remind me

That this game we play, will never be through

You’re to stay, it is might as well be true.

If you were to leave me now, new ones would surely find me

Demons, Demons oh how I embrace you.

 I enjoy the sensations you create inside me.

Oh, I crave the chaos sometimes.

So, I’ll stop running for the slightest moment.

Just to allow you to attack me, harass me, and destroy me once again.

Demons, demons I wouldn’t be myself without you.

Eventually I’ll start to flee and pretend that it’s you I’m running from,

yet we both know that this isn’t over, and this will never be done.

Discover Yourself

Do you ever feel as if your life is out of your control? Maybe you don’t even know who you are anymore. You may be living your life day to day feeling as if there isn’t a meaning to what you are doing. You may even feel like you don’t want to be alive and that there is no point to life. Are you experiencing feelings of self-doubt, hopelessness, anxiety, depression, emptiness, loneliness,stress, uneasiness, nervousness, or tension? Do you feel like there is something missing from your life, but you can’t seem to figure out why or what could be causing you to feel this way. Have you ever considered that you should take some time to yourself in order to figure out what is going on inside of you?

I felt this way for many years and I had no idea what could possibly be wrong with me. I felt scared, alone, and out of control for far too long. One way I filled this void was investing my life into someone else’s. I thought that I needed to be in a relationship with someone, so that these feelings would subside. When I was going through these emotions, I didn’t even realize what they were. I honestly didn’t realize that what I was doing was completely toxic and unhealthy. I have been consumed in different relationships with several guys throughout my life. It didn’t occur to me that I didn’t know who I was, because I was distracted by the relationship with them. I didn’t think about myself, or the things I wanted. I didn’t have any personal goals. I had no clue what self-improvement even meant. By being addicted to the feeling of being in love, I was distracted from the truth. I was completely unaware that by putting all my energy and focus into another person, I would develop co-dependency issues. I didn’t know that one day, I would be left so extremely heartbroken, that it would cause me to be physically sick for months.

How did I allow myself to get attached to another person in a way that completely destroyed me? By not taking time to myself. I didn’t realize “I” even existed. So, when that day came and my world as I knew it fell into a million pieces, I had to discover myself. I had to figure out exactly what I wanted out of MY life. I had no other choice but to come face to face with myself. I was a stranger to my own soul. I never had a relationship with myself and didn’t have any knowledge of where to start. So, I started writing and suddenly everything started to make sense.

I have learned more about myself in the past 2 years than my entire life combined, because I have spent time alone. I was in a place previously where I feared being alone. I didn’t want to sleep in the bed, go to the store, or go anywhere for that matter by myself. I was so dependent on another person being around me, that when the time came for me to be alone, I had no clue how to act. Now, I crave solitude. I believe it is critical to living a for-fulling life. You have to be able to understand yourself, love yourself, and create a relationship with yourself before you could ever do that with another person. This is something I didn’t understand nor did I feel like I was capable of doing.

Being addicted to the feeling of being in love, is not an easy cycle to break. Honestly, I don’t think I will ever break the cycle because I enjoy being in love, but there is a difference in my mentality. I understand how important it is to take time to figure out exactly what is going on in my head, in order to fathom the thoughts I am thinking. Also, during this time I can observe my feelings and understand why I am feeling a certain way. In my past, I didn’t take time to understand my thoughts or emotions, so I felt lost and vulnerable all the time.

You must understand that taking time to yourself is not an option. It is not something you can just decide you are not going to do. It is not something that should not be taken lightly. It is highly important you set aside time to reflect on your life. Then, from there you must understand why you are experiencing what ever it is you are going through. You must decide what the best for you. Now, this is where it gets tricky, because doing what is best for yourself is not always going to be something you want to do.

To sum this up, I strongly believe that when you spend time alone, you awaken your soul. You have to really listen to your thoughts and be gentle with yourself. You are not perfect, you are flawed. You have made mistakes, and will continue to do so. It is your responsibility to learn from your past experiences and set yourself up for a bright future.

By taking time alone, you will be able to focus on what it is you what out of your life. Don’t put anyone else in the picture when you are thinking about your life.(If you have kids, this doesn’t apply to you, because obviously you have to take their lives into consideration. Do not include significant others.) It may be hard, but know it is necessary for you to do. Once you remove all attachments from your mind, you will be left with just yourself. During this time, figure out what it is you enjoy doing, and what you would like to do more of. Start making goals and plan to do things that are going to benefit you. Whether that be going to the gym or playing your favorite game. You decide what makes you happy and nobody has any right to challenge you on that. Once you practice taking time to yourself, you will feel awake and aware. You will feel like a completely new person and the person you have been previously will no longer exist. You will be reborn.

I must emphasis that having a relationship with yourself is the most important part of your life, because once you discover who you are, you will feel a new type of happiness you could have never imagined before.

Expectations: Letting Go

Expectation means having a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Every single one of us struggle with our own personal expectations everyday. But, we can change that, by letting them go. Personally, this is has been very difficult for me, because at one point in my life I told myself I was going to let go of all expectations. I thought I had, but lately I have been extra moody, up and down, and feeling not myself. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me until today. I read this article on Facebook: http://www.the-open-mind.com/3-ways-youre-making-your-life-harder-than-it-has-to-be/. Everything suddenly makes more sense. I am struggling with a huge wave of disappointments. Instead of living my life in the moment and taking things as they present themselves to me, I had previously made expectations about how my life should be. For example, I had to quit my job a couple of weeks ago, because it was such a negative environment and it was causing me great stress. Now, I see that I could have been happier there if I would of let go of my expectations. I expected it to be a great place to work with fun people I could learn from. So, when I found out it wasn’t going to be that I was greatly disappointed. Another example, is my relationship with my boyfriend. This past week I have wanted to leave him, because I haven’t been happy. Now, I understand why, it is because he isn’t the person I expected him to be. Not in a bad way, but my mind was telling me it was bad that he isn’t exactly what I thought he would be. Nobody is going to be what you expected. Nobody could ever live up to someone’s standards 100% of the time. We have to learn to let go of what we think of someone and accept who they are. Keeping in the mind that people change, as we change ourselves. It is all apart of life. If you aren’t changing then you may not be growing as an individual.

The last expectation that has been weighing on my mind is my fitness journey. I expected that I would have a six pack by now, show more definition in my body, and be healthier. I didn’t think that things would be this hard, or that I would fail many many times before I would succeed. I am still trying to do better. I have to let go of how I think I should look, or feel and just be thankful for how I feel and look right now. Smile, take a deep breath, and tell myself things can only get better from this moment on. IF, I want them to. I can’t see progress if I keep looking behind me.

So, how do I let go of my expectations once and for all? I suppose the only way is to practice mindfulness. By realizing that the only thing that exists is the here and now. Things are going to happen the way the are meant to happen. Worrying about how they are going to occur isn’t going to change things. Stressing over “what if’s” and “wish I would of’s”, isn’t going to benefit you in any way.  The constant weight of disappointments can leave you feeling depressed and moody. That isn’t how life should be. We have to realize we do not have control of every situation, we only have control over how we react to a situation. We can control our own emotions and thoughts, but not the events going on around us. Letting go of the things we can not control, will ultimately change our own perspective of our life.

Now that I have found out the source of my unhappiness, I must find a way to change things within myself. I am still on my path of healing. I started this blog over a year ago, and I am not completely okay yet with my mental state. And to be honest, I probably won’t ever be 100% okay with it, because everyday there is going to be a new challenge I am going to have to face. Another anxiety to work on, or even something from my past I am going to have to let go of. The journey is an on-going process for me, that is something that I shouldn’t ignore. I won’t stop trying to get better and from this point on I will try my hardest not to have any expectations in my life. I will accept the way things are and let go of how I think they should be.