Tag Archives: life

Creative Projects

I went to this festival last year and I was extremely inspired by all of the creativity around me. There was music, healing arts, flow arts, paintings, glass-blowing. All types of personal creativity. Some people were dressed in costumes and dancing in their own unique way. I will never forget that place and I intend to gather with that community again in October. I have been exploring different creative projects myself. One being this blog Conquer Your Emotions. I transform my experiences into creative writing including metaphors based on my understanding of those experiences and also others perspectives that I have been exposed to. That is why I really enjoy reading different personal development books, because it is like I am peeling back layers of myself through looking at a personal experience or feeling in a different way. This process of shifting my focus on a different perspective allows me to create my own interpretation of whatever it is that is happening. I deeply want to bring the energy I have inside myself to life. I have tons of ideas and projects pop into my mind daily. I have written many of them down. If you are reading this and ever want to bring a creative idea to life through writing, craft, cooking, etc, let me know. I am open to helping other with their creative goals.

I have been making jewelry as Simply Serene Stones on Etsy. You can visit my shop here. https://www.etsy.com/shop/SimplySereneStones?ref=hdr_shop_menu

I am excited to see where this path leads me. I am setting aside all money made for something I am not sure of yet.  I want to also inspire others to support each other by spreading awareness about one another’s talents/crafts. I think we are already creating communities for self-sufficiently and towards a healthier more sustainable future for the coming generations.

I have also planted a garden this year. I am very new to growing my own food, but I figured why not plant a few things and learn along the way. I have planted arugula, spinach, swiss chard, cucumbers, strawberries, and bell peppers. I still have to plant my sunflower seeds. I may pick up a few more things in the coming weeks.

I also want to write a book about some of my deeply personal traumas and struggles to inspire others and help them heal. I feel like it is my duty to give back the same energy I have received myself. Some topics would include: codependency, attachments, addictions, relationships cycles, fear of abandonment, coping with anxiety. I know I am not in a position to write this book yet, because I am still going through some areas of my life, but this book will hopefully be manifested within the next (5) years.

I have set time aside to do things such as coloring, drawing, and watching movies. It has been tough for me to do something for fun lately. I have been so focused on a goal, achievement, becoming, etc. I have to remember to take time to let things flow. That is where music has seriously helped me let loose. I have secret dance sessions in my room a couple times a week. I let all the energy flow out of me and capture it through moving my body.

There are a couple other things I am wanting to work on, but only time will allow me to do all of these things.

Patience. Determination. and i will just keep going after the life of my dreams, because what else is there to do? Fall in line with society standards?

No way. I’m breaking out of that system, one day at a time & one step at a time all while thinking about a future where people won’t have to deal with the stresses we are facing today.

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Embrace Your Experiences

Embracing where I have been lately has been really tough, especially as I continue to learn more about myself and what things I would love to starting doing. I have felt myself change, so much over the past 6 months. There have been many up and down periods and currently I feel myself stepping back into my power. There have been some emotional things come up in my life that I wasn’t ready to handle. Mainly, by the outer world events and the political drama. Ever since I discovered who Bernie Sanders is I feel like my entire mind has been awakened to the issues of this country. I have spent many days thinking about what is happening and what could I possibility do to make things better. Also, much time has been spent watching documentaries, political and educational videos, blog posts, Facebook videos, mainstreams media. Not to mention all the different opinions I have read, perspectives, ideas, solutions, etc. I have exposed myself to another layer of our reality and it has been hard for me to accept. I realize now that I must have balance in my life. I spent so much time worried about the problems and thinking about the terrible events that it begun to drain my energy. Especially after going the Philly, volunteering for the Green Party, and attending other protests/rallies. I feel absolutely exhausted from it all. I have to remember that I have to give myself time to let all the information sink in. I have decided that I better start focusing on solutions and ways that I can contribute to the planet and the people. That can be tough, especially when I have always been so introverted. I have also realized my fear of rejection has increased due to my resent breakup. It always hurts to not be with someone who I told, “I love you to everyday.”, but knowing that I still am going to be friends with him is comforting and even confusing at times. Yet, I am trusting love the best way I know how to and also knowing that things are happening the way that it is meant to. I have to remind myself that my thoughts are going to shape my reality. So, I am trying to become more aware of my thoughts. It has been a tough at times, because I find myself getting lost in a thought and then experiencing my feelings based on whatever I am thinking. Some thoughts are harder to resist than others, especially if the emotions are strong, and even traumatic. It is easy to get lost and maybe feel down a little when this happens. One of the most important things I like to keep in mind is that it is okay it feel negative feelings. It doesn’t mean that it is good or bad. I have been too judgmental with myself and realized that I am the one who is pressuring myself and that there is not anyone else holding any expectations on me. I am the one who decides what I want to do with my life and it doesn’t matter what anyone has to say. I find myself caring about what people think sometimes, and it can cause social anxiety. Which is something very real that nobody ever wants to talk about. I know I even don’t like to think about it, but I think it is important for me too. I strongly believe that when I look at my problems right in the face and call it out for exactly what it is, usually through writing, I discover that it really healing. Sometimes, I have too many thoughts, and trying to listen to them all is really tiring, so I have been practicing meditation. Someone I listened to said something like this, “Think of your thoughts like clouds in the sky. You don’t have to listen to them, you can let them just float right by.” Basically, I am becoming aware of the thoughts that case me suffering and to experience emotions, by simply choosing to think about other things. I am doing much rewiring and unlearning. I feel like I am literally transforming into someone else… Perhaps, I am really learning who I am and realizing that I am not who I thought I was. I have spent much of my time thinking about the future or the past, causing much anxiety. Anxiety has caused me to struggle in basically every area of my life. It has been a true challenge to do things I know I have to do. Sometimes, I don’t eat correctly, have trouble being around others, feeling panic, and confused overall. Yet, I always find the power inside me to call anxiety out for what it is and not allow myself to get lost in the emotions. Panic attacks are definitely a real thing. Last year, I totally freaked out, because I randomly got lost somewhere I felt I should not be lost in, my phone died, and I was suppose to be back at work, but obviously I was late and couldn’t call anyone. There was a negative voice judging the entire event in my head. The fact was is that everything was going to be okay, no matter what. I have realized that most of the panic attacks were called from believing what was happening in my thoughts was actually happening in real life! I was experiencing emotions, because of my thoughts and ever since then it is as if something has clicked for me. I feel more in control of my life. I am more accepting of what happens without judging it as bad or good.

Transform From Your Emotions

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When you feel as if you are falling apart you should take that has a sign that you are growing. All the emotions you are feeling are proof of this process. These emotions are temporary, yet necessary for your personal journey.

For example, when you feel pain you must understand why you are feeling it by asking yourself questions and digging down deep for the answers. You have to remember that you contain the power to overcome those emotions. If you are lonely you must ask yourself why you are searching for something more than yourself. You have always been enough. You are already complete. Feeling lonely is only an illusion. We are connected with the entire universe. If you are scared you must realize that those feelings of fear do not really exist and that you are allowing your negative thoughts to influence your emotions.

Don’t be afraid to feel.

Emotions are created inside of you, therefore you have the power to control them. You must take a step back, allow yourself to go through them and fully fathom the reason for them. Ultimately, you must decide to let them go once and for all in order to create space in your life for thoughts and energy that is going to benefit you.

This process may break you down. It might tear you to pieces. You may feel as if the process will never be over. Let me tell you something, this process will always repeat itself in some way in your life. That is inevitable. That’s the bittersweet reality of how things are in this existence. You must accept that there can be no light without the dark.

But, hey isn’t it better that way? Think about it, if things went the way you wanted all the time, then you wouldn’t ever appreciate those moments of joy. You wouldn’t understand their worth. You wouldn’t even blink an eye at the good times, but by experiencing pain and grief you learn to appreciate the positive moments. Something as simple as waking up will suddenly turn into the most precious gift. Your entire mentality will start to change once you understand that you are not meant to remain the same. The more perspectives, ideas, theories, knowledge, and life experiences you obtain the more you will understand how transformation is necessary.

Not everything in life is black and white. It’s the gray areas that are most important. Be cautious some things are not as they appear on the surface. Also, understand that your mind will play tricks on you. You must take control and look at all aspects of life from every perspective you can imagine while diving into your emotions.

Keep in mind that you aren’t meant to stay in your emotions for long periods of time if they are going to have a negative affect on you. Your emotions are simply tools you must use to understand yourself on a deeper, more intellectual way. This process of self-reflection is meant to build you up and give you a better understanding of who you were, who you are, and who you are becoming.

We are all fighting a battle between the good and bad, at times it isn’t going to be clear what is right or wrong. Embrace these times. We don’t make mistakes. We create experiences that give us the opportunity to grow.

You personally must burn, blow up, and explode into someone completely new everyday. You aren’t meant to remain the same, because you were designed for transformation.

 

Enlightenment is Evolution

I am walking around an environment surrounded by many different structures varying in size and color. Suddenly, feelings of confusion and alienation come over me.

Where am I?

Looking down upon the ground, I see black pavement and pale sidewalks. Looking around me, I see other human beings, but I don’t think they see me. Stopping now, I observe their faces.

The sounds of many feet hitting these man-made surfaces seem to grow louder the longer I stand still.

Worry, Stress, Anxiety.

I feel it now.

The energy lingers in the air, as they pass by me with their tunnel vision.

Their minds aligned to the next destination.

Their focus on the next deadline.

Their minds on an imaginary clock.

Yet their awareness; empty.

I wonder where are they going and why won’t they look into my eyes?

Analyzing the huge signs in the air, I ask myself, who are these images and words for?Why does their messages make me desire something outside of myself? I feel like I am suppose to be listening, but I can’t comprehend. Are those letters talking to me?

I close my eyes to remember the last place where everything made sense.

I smell wooden trees and fresh plants. I feel the crisp air and the bright sun rays my skin. I hear the sounds of the leaves crunching, music playing, laughter, the birds singing, and the whispering of the wind. I feel the softness of the grass and the hardness of the dirt upon my feet. I see other people and they look at me radiating with light.  I remember who I am…

We hug, we dance, we talk, we sing, we eat.  

Connection. Unity. Freedom. Love. 

Back to the our essential being.

Allowing ourselves just to be.

To simply live in this existence without any obligations.

I’ll never forget how the embers of that fire danced with the night sky. 

Clarity. Peace. Serenity.

Where are those sensations? Where are those people? What is this place? How can this be where I call home?

Wait…

These people are the same; they just don’t know it. They don’t realize their true power. They are not aware of the loving energy radiating deep inside of them. They are distracted by social conditioning. They are filled with false judgments and complex misunderstandings. They are consumed with their egos and far away from their souls. They don’t know who they really are!

I must shine my light upon them to wake them up.

I must pour my love on them and heal them.

Enlightenment is evolution.

I am the messenger. The light worker. The peace keeper.

I have to tell them that this isn’t the way we were meant to live.

It’s time to tell them the truth…

This place wasn’t designed for us, it was designed by a select few.

Society is nothing more than a prison to keep us in debt and enslaved to a system that will never benefit us. These people trick us into believing that we need the things we see around us. Constant remainders that we must always have something bigger and better than ourselves, because we aren’t enough. We know we don’t want these things, but they persuade us any way.

Materialism and Capitalism are our biggest enemies.  

They have manipulated us to believe that we must do certain things, say certain things, and be certain things. But I am here to tell you, that we must not listen to them anymore.

Turn off the television. Quit listening to the radio. Think for yourself.

The hardest part is accepting that everything you ever believed is a lie.

To finally understand that this is reality is an man-made illusion.

They may be the controlling this game, but you have the choice whether or not you want to play.

If you throw in your cards; their whole world explodes.

When we come together there will be nothing standing in our way.

We must welcome this enlightenment, unite together, and evolve as one.

Do you feel that?

Your heart is beating and they can’t feel you.

Do you hear that?

That’s your thoughts and they can’t hear you.

What are you doing?

That’s your actions and they can’t see you. 

You are in control; never submit. Take back your power by remembering who you are.

Unemployed Feels

*Like the picture in the top of this canyon, life can be complex to look at when you don’t know what you are looking at or looking for. When you are wandering about in life with no idea what direction you want to go in. Your options can blend together, like the different colors of the minerals on the rock’s surface.*

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Well, I knew this day would surely come again, but not now. I didn’t anticipate to quit my job two days ago. I just didn’t expect this change and I am not sure what direction to go in next.  I am holding on to hope that this is what is meant to be and  really trust that this is what is suppose to be happening in this moment. I have a tendency to worry and overthink every thing that happens in my life. I have to sit around and analyze it for hours and I am just not wanting to do that this time around. I have my bills paid for this month. I am entitled to taking some days to recharge, brainstorm, and take it easy. I think I deserve that much, because I have been struggling emotionally, physically, and mentally. Just feeling very worn out about half the time.  I am also single, record breaking, going on 8 months now.  But, that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried dating. I can’t seem to find a guy who wants to stick around and actually create something real together. Dating is confusing and right now that is something I don’t need. A relationship is the least of my worries, because I can’t even be happy on my own some days, but when I get down it does sound nice to have that person to vent to again.

Anyway, I want to go on a quick rant about society and the workforce.

I have determined that I don’t really want to be apart of society’s corporate greed which means really trying to find a company who isn’t apart of the system. I really want to work somewhere local, authentic and for a company that shares the same moral values as me. I may make less money, but maybe that is what needs to happen right now. I am not sure if I want to continue in the food and beverage industry, like I need a break.

Society wants to make it out like a bad thing if you are not working, but sometimes people need a break, because not everybody handles stress the same. Not every body experiences the same hardships whether they are mental, physical, or emotional problems. I am fortunate to still be at home and not forced to get in debt with all the bills I don’t feel I need. I am completely okay living at home. I am guilty of allowing what other people may think about me really bother me. I assume people are going to judge me a certain way and it’s tough to ignore those thoughts at times.

Soon enough, I will certainly figure out what direction I need to take in order for me to be happy, make money, and accomplish my goals. For now, I am taking some time to clear my mind.

Overloaded with Life! :D

For the past couple of months, I have been overloaded with tons of thoughts, ideas, and emotions. I am torn between many different paths in my life at the moment. I am trying to accomplish all of my goals. It is very tough to balance all of my interests and what I would like to do at any given time. I have huge goals involving writing, reading, cooking, fitness, travel, and obtaining new interests all the time. I want to start making jewelry, homemade soaps/lotions/etc, maybe even do some candles, oatmeal mixes (other fitness related foods I could sell). I would love to become self-sufficient and not need to actually work all the time. My creativity is through the roof and it is hard to focus on one thing. I am trying to sort through all of these things and still live my life in “society”.  Yet, where I am happiest and free is in nature. What a struggle, especially living in Nashville, TN which is growing by the minute, literally!

I am also diving into spirituality pretty hard and constantly learning new perspectives about the universe and myself. I am healing my emotional pain from the past, while growing stronger everyday and creating new relationships. So, yeah between social situations, alone time, work, and doing the basics. I find myself struggling to find the time to get everything done that I would like. Trust me, this blog isn’t me complaining, just venting this out, so I can discover which path to focus on at the moment. I figured I would write a little bit about it and see where my mind goes. Tons of blog posts are in progress either mentally, or in drafts on this site.

I strongly want to see this blog turn into something amazing and profitable one day. I know that if I put my concentration into the right sources, all of my goals and dreams stand a chance to come to life.

Whoa, I feel exhausted, but at the same time fully alive. I mean, what more could I ask for? I am never bored, without something to do, or someone to talk to. My life is grand actually, but I have to start focusing on ONE thing at a time, instead of allowing all of this to swirl around in my mind, resulting in me freezing up and doing nothing but staring into blank space…

This is a picture of how I feel. My hand open for whatever the universe decides to throw at me!

“In the midst of my chaos, I found an ounce of clarity!”

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5AM Political Thoughts

Donald Trump is winning the presidential race in America. It makes me very sad and a little nervous. I really wish I had the power to stop what he is doing, but obviously I don’t. I only hope that by sharing posts, talking about politics, and writing this blog; maybe I can make a slight impact.

Well, when I woke up this morning, I jumped on Facebook because I could not fall back to sleep. I started seeing political posts mainly for Bernie Sanders and then I came across an article about a man who decided to go “undercover” at a Donald Trump Rally.

View story at Medium.com

After reading this article, I have been left with a “bad taste” in my mouth. This is definitely disturbing to say the least. This guy was brave and seriously had some guts to walk into a Trump rally and start socializing with his supporters. My social anxiety would be through the roof being surrounded by people who are judgmental, negative, and close-minded.

I hope people start to do the same thing as the man in the article and open their minds to another perspective. Hopefully for Bernie Sander’s message, because they definitely will feel the positive energy and good vibes associated with his words. Every time I think about Trump and his message, a darkness creeps in my mind as well. I don’t want to think about him anymore honestly. I want to focus on the good things going on and not stress about other truths at the moment. I could continue on with this post, but my thoughts have already gotten to me enough. I simply wanted to vent a little and share this article, because I think it is worth reading, especially if you are a Trump supporter.

Please realize you must be the change if you want see the change in the world and that’s what I am hoping to do in this life.