Tag Archives: negative

5AM Political Thoughts

Donald Trump is winning the presidential race in America. It makes me very sad and a little nervous. I really wish I had the power to stop what he is doing, but obviously I don’t. I only hope that by sharing posts, talking about politics, and writing this blog; maybe I can make a slight impact.

Well, when I woke up this morning, I jumped on Facebook because I could not fall back to sleep. I started seeing political posts mainly for Bernie Sanders and then I came across an article about a man who decided to go “undercover” at a Donald Trump Rally.

View story at Medium.com

After reading this article, I have been left with a “bad taste” in my mouth. This is definitely disturbing to say the least. This guy was brave and seriously had some guts to walk into a Trump rally and start socializing with his supporters. My social anxiety would be through the roof being surrounded by people who are judgmental, negative, and close-minded.

I hope people start to do the same thing as the man in the article and open their minds to another perspective. Hopefully for Bernie Sander’s message, because they definitely will feel the positive energy and good vibes associated with his words. Every time I think about Trump and his message, a darkness creeps in my mind as well. I don’t want to think about him anymore honestly. I want to focus on the good things going on and not stress about other truths at the moment. I could continue on with this post, but my thoughts have already gotten to me enough. I simply wanted to vent a little and share this article, because I think it is worth reading, especially if you are a Trump supporter.

Please realize you must be the change if you want see the change in the world and that’s what I am hoping to do in this life.

Advertisements

Instant Inspiration

Sometimes, it is easier for me to give advice, then take it. It comes natural to give others advice, but not listen to my own words. During these times, people like myself may need to be reminded of our inspiration. Being positive doesn’t mean you remain positive all the time. Everyone falls down into the darkness sometimes. It is up to each and every one of us to pick each other up by exposing us to the light again.

safe_image.jpg

Recognizing Patterns

I don’t know about you guys, but I make a mental note about every experience I have with every person I spend time with. I think it is a very smart and wise decision to observe those who you allow to be apart of your life. You have to take in everything about them, from how they talk to what kind of hobbies they have. You must ask them questions about their life and actually get to know who they are. Also, you must ask yourself how do you feel around this person? What kind of activities do you practice when you are spending time together? How is the relationship between the two of you? Do you two get along? Have things in common? Do they make you happy? Upset?

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself if the person are you spending time with is having a positive or negative affect on you. You owe it to yourself to maintain a mental journal of all of the relationships you have with others. You have to be aware of them, because sometimes it is not easy to spot someone who may be bringing you down. On the other hand, you may not realize how much someone means to you, until you really think about why you continue to allow them in your life.

As an individual, it is your responsibility to make judgments and observations about the people you meet, who you call your friends, and even those who are apart of your family. Once you start mentally noting how they affect you and what kind of person they are, you can determine whether or not you want to be involved with them. There are some people who may be draining your energy or bringing bad vibes into your life and you may be too distracted by your expectations and thoughts of them that you fail to realize how they truly are.

It is easy to create an illusion in your mind due to the thoughts you are thinking. You need to give yourself time to judge someone, because you want to give them a fair shot, but you also don’t want to drag out the amount of time you spend with them. Most of the time, we are oblivious to how people really are because we have created this mental image of how we want them to be, and/or how we want the relationship to go. For example, this could be with a friend. You may think the friendship is strong and worth keeping, but if they aren’t investing as much time and energy as you are, then you should focus your energy and time elsewhere.

Remember to always recognize the patterns with those you are in contact with. If negative things happen too often when you are involved with them, then you have to decide what is best for you. If things are going great, you may be worrying too much about the bad, so you should take time to let those concerns go. Take a step back and analyze the relationships in your life, figure out who is worth your time, and swift your energy into all relationships that are going to benefit you. This can be a devastating process. More than likely, you are going to have to minimize your friends, cut people out of your life, and start building relationships with people who you previously didn’t think you should. No matter how tough this is, or how many people you lose; you have to understand this cleanup is required.

Start recognizing patterns and watch positive ones come into play!

 

Uncertainty

I think what bothers me most about life is the fact that nothing is ever set in stone. It bothers me, because at any given time my world as I know it could be turned upside down. I used to think that being comfortable in life was the most important thing. You know, graduate, get a job, a house, start a family, live the American dream. Right? Isn’t that what this life is about? I don’t think that is what life is about anymore. How could you ever allow yourself to become that comfortable? I don’t think you should and here’s why.

Life is all about uncertainty. Taking chances. Risking yourself. Believing in the unknown.

If you are married with kids, I’m sure you have some level of certainly and trust in your marriage and lifestyle. That would be the only natural way to be. Of course, you want to believe that everything is going to go the way you want them to. It makes it much easier to get caught up in the illusion that things are always going to be the way they are right now. But, in reality things could change any day, and life as we know it simply won’t exist anymore.

I think as humans, we must face the ultimate truth. Nothing in this world is permanent. Change will always happen for better or for worst, it is inevitable. I have decided it is time for me to be okay with change and uncertainty. I can not continue living my life in my head, based around an idea. I don’t think I should continue to be comfortable in an aspect of my life. Anything could happen at any moment, and that scares me.

I am thriving for myself to get to a point where I am okay with life. A point where if something happens, I will be fine with change. I must always expect the unexpected, instead of convincing myself my life will be a certain way and with a particular person. The truth is you never know. Especially when you are sharing your life with someone else in a relationship. You don’t have any idea what is going through their mind at any given time. Same with family, friends, or spouses.

When you go to a job interview, you don’t think about all the negative things that may happen. Like, once your hired you will be treated like crap, or that the manager will treat you differently because you are a woman. You don’t expect things to be bad, because it is normal to want to the best in any situation.

When you get into a relationship with another person, you shouldn’t think about all the bad things that may happen. You don’t consider that your heart may be broken. Once you fall in love with them, you expect things to always be that way. The truth is relationships may not always last. That is a hard pill to swallow, especially when you have invested so much of your time, feelings, and energy into a person.

When you are born into a family, you expect everyone to love you and accept you for who you are. You look at those people as the only ones that really matter. Then, one day your dad decides he doesn’t want to be apart of the family anymore. He leaves and you never see him again. You never expected this person to leave you behind, because he was your family.

Life doesn’t always work the way we want it. We don’t always get what we want. People don’t always stick around in our lives.

I’m not saying live your life and never be happy. I just think it is important to never allow yourself to get caught up in the idea that something is forever. I think everyone should always think about the worst in situations and have that in the back of their minds. With that being said, don’t always dwell on it though. That is the tough part, at least for me. I can get so caught up in thinking the worst, that I fail to be happy in the good moments. I think most people forget that things will change, because we are so happy and excited about how things are going, We fail to accept that they may not always be that way.

Life is full of up and down times. I think it is important to prepare yourself mentality by accepting that bad things are going to always happen. It may sound crazy, but at least when something unexpected happens, you have already told yourself that you are going to be okay with it. Therefore, in my opinion it is easier to deal with.

Appreciate every moment you spend with someone, because they may not always be apart of your life.

Learn the most you can from any experience and allow those things to make you a better, wiser person.

Thrive to be your own individual person, find your dream, focus on yourself, because you are the only guarantee you have in this life.

Happiness Over Everything

There comes a point in your life where you have to decide what is most important to you. I choose happiness over everything.

For the past seven months, I was working in the kitchen as a pantry chef at this well-known restaurant. The pay was great, the environment was okay sometimes, and I could do whatever I wanted. Such as come in late, eat anything there, joke around with employees, make new menu items. It was great for like the first two or three months. Then, it seemed like it was one thing after another that was causing me stress. I decided last Saturday, that I had no other choice, but to quit. It seemed like the best ultimate decision for my personal happiness.

The environment was mainly always negative, people’s attitude’s were bitter and unhelpful. Slowly, I started to dread going to work. I would walk into work in the best mood and leave feeling drained and stressed out. I finally decided that it was enough. I had previously wanted to put in my two-week notice, but the owner talked me out of it. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you, and not worry about what affect your actions may have on others. I am so empathetic and I truly care about other people. I know by leaving, that it is going to make things harder on everyone else. That has been bothering me ever since I sent the message. I need to come to terms with things right now, and let the whole situation go.

1) Happiness over everything.

2) I have to do what is best for me.

3) The cons outweigh the pros.

4) I was wasting my potential there.

5) The owner didn’t seem to appreciate me or my extra efforts.

6) I have another job on the weekends, that alone will allow me to pay my rent.

I feel like being in a bad, abusive job environment has the same feelings as being in an unhealthy relationship with someone. It’s like you always want to leave, but you stay thinking things will get better. People may change. It is only bad today, it will be better tomorrow type of attitude. The truth is, if you are unhappy with someone, or something, change it. End of story. There is no waiting around, things can get better, but the odds are not in your favor. Always have a back-up plan. That is why I picked up a second job, because I knew I was on the edge of quitting this one. In the end, your happiness is more important than any paycheck, yet money will make your life better in some aspects. It is quite the dilemma when you are thinking about quitting a job that makes good money. Just like relationships, there are plenty of other people in the world, and there are plenty of jobs to go around. Raise your standards and be happy with everything you do in life.

Now, that my advice is out of the way. I feel much more relaxed about the situation. Now, I can focus more on my personal journey. Last year, I was realizing what I needed to do to change my life. This year is about applying it to my life.

Wishful Thinking Advice

As defined, Wishful thinking is the formation of beliefs and making decisions according to what might be pleasing to imagine instead of by appealing to evidence, rationality, or reality. It is a product of resolving conflicts between belief and desire.

For many people, such as myself, I used to live my life based on wishful thinking. This is a very unhealthy and harmful way to live your life. With any situation, you should always “hope for the best, and expect the worst”. With my previous relationship, I spent the first 6 months expecting the worst. For example, I always thought he was going to walk out on me. (Which he did, but that’s beside the point.) I thought he was going to cheat on me, turn into some asshole, or I would find out something dark about him. All that anxiety and worry was built up in my mind every single day. When you are constantly thinking negative thoughts about your life or someone in it, it really can hurt you. Only thinking positive thoughts can hurt you as well. You wouldn’t think that always looking on the bright side, or having hope could be a bad thing. It’s all about balancing the good and the bad. You have to balance your thoughts and learn how to control them. For me, this has been a very difficult process.

Within the last months of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, I wasn’t even in the present moment. I was so caught up in wishful thinking that I failed to enjoy the days spent with him. In my head, I thought I was going to marry this man. No questions asked. I honestly that he was the one for me. This is not the first time I have had wishful thinking in a relationship. I also thought these same things about other guys in my past. My relationship with my ex-boyfriend was the best one I have had so far, so it only made wishful thinking that much worse. Wishful thinking is not a bad thing. Just like anything else, you can have too much of a good thing. If you strictly only think about the good outcomes, you will be much more disappointed if things do not go your way. I have learned my lesson, over and over again. You can only get your hopes up and your heart broke so many times before something finally clicks. A wake-up call. Slap in the face by reality. Of course, it is going to be a constant struggle. It is not easy at the beginning. But you have to start somewhere when managing your thoughts.

Start by living your life for the moment. In reality, all we ever have is the moment. You have the accept the fact that you have no control over what is going to happen in the future with other people. Sure, you can prepare for your own future and in a way you will determine your own future. For example, you can control your education, job, and what not. But, you can control how other people are going to treat you. It doesn’t matter how much you worry, the truth is you never really know when someone will be out of your life. Death may take them away. They may chose another path and you might lose contact with them. Whatever happens, it is beyond your control.

When it comes to “dating”, wishful thinking can be a HUGE problem. Personally, I always wanted to find ONE guy to settle down with and share my life with ONLY them. That’s not a problem to have that vision for myself, the problem was thinking it was a certain person too soon. You really have to take time to get to know someone before having those thoughts. Sure, have wishful thinking but always realize the facts and come back to reality. For example, I have been sleeping with this guy for a month or so. At first, I didn’t look into it, told myself it was going to be a one-night stand. Due to mine and his emotional state things have been dragged on longer. At one point, I thought we were going to get together. I was being naive. At the time, I was pissed off when he told me this but it actually makes a lot of sense. He told me one night when I was upset and questioning him about his confusing actions. He says, “Just because a guy is nice to a girl, takes a girl out, she can be good company but that doesn’t mean he wants to be with her.” My wishful thinking was going on and that crushed me at that moment. I was not in any emotional state to even be in a relationship especially with a guy I barely know and who has his own emotional battles going on. I always think about what he said because it is the truth. When dating someone you are getting to know them and enjoying their company. You have to give you relationship time to develop. It is scary when feelings start happening because you become more vulnerable and wishful thinking will come more frequent. It is true, I do care for Doug right now but I have accepted the facts. The truth is we are still getting to know each other and we both have a lot of emotional work to do before we could ever be in a relationship with anymore. It is difficult, especially for a woman, not to gain feelings for a man. Especially, if you are having sex with them. I have learned how to control my emotions. I tell myself every time I see Doug. It is going to be a good time. I may never hear from him again but I will enjoy my time with him instead of worrying about what I can not change.

That’s how the dating game should go. I am still learning this myself but it has really helped me from getting my feelings hurt. If you only look at things for the moment, try not to put so much hope into someone too soon, your emotions will balance themselves out. At least, this strategy has been working for me. In the past, I met a guy, enjoyed his company, and jumped into a relationship with him from the very beginning! This is the reason why I believe my past relationships have failed. It is necessary to really take some time to get to know that person before you can make that decision. I mean, you are only choosing to share your life with someone, give them your love, invest your time, and risk your heart. No big deal, right? Be smart and be honest with yourself. Do not convince yourself that you are going to end up with a certain person. Accept the fact that you may get hurt again, but remember you can get through it. Nothing is ever set in stone. It is a constant risk allowing someone in your life. It is up to you how you decide to deal with your thoughts and emotions. Facing reality and being logical seems like common sense. It is hard when you get yourself caught up in wishful thinking. Always remember that your wishful thinking is only thoughts of what you want to happen but don’t forget that they may not come true. Look at all the possibilities of your situation. Accept each and every outcome. Once you accept every outcome, you are setting yourself up for success. You may still get your hopes up, you may still get your heart broken, but at least you will be able to get through it easier because you have already accepted it. By living in the moment, I have saved myself from many disappointments and I have enjoyed my life incredibility more than when I was constantly anxious for the future or caught up in wishful thinking.