I was sitting here drinking my usual cup of hazelnut coffee with the blinds open, allowing the sun to radiate through the window and onto my skin this morning. The warmth from the rays felt so relaxing and welcoming. I opened my computer and seen my reflection on the screen, observing how the sun was shining on my skin. What I realized is that this whole experience is extremely metaphoric.
Meeting someone new, is like the sun’s rays. Warm and inviting. You want to know more about them, you want to allow them in, to come inside your house, not just shine through your window. It can be very tough to decide whether or not you want to unlock your door. At times, you may choose to go outside and lock to door behind you. Which, is the safest and most secure way of doing things when meeting someone brand new. You wouldn’t just unlock the door to your house and allow anyone you don’t know inside, exposing them to all of your valuables and personal items.
Really, thinking about this deeper, I believe your body, soul, and mind is like a house. You will open the door at some point, whenever you feel is right, and allow a person into your life exposing them to the good and bad parts of your body, mind, and soul. It’s tough, sometimes we aren’t proud of our house, maybe there’s something that needs to be worked on such as the walls need to be painted. This could be compared to a struggle you are going with personally and therefore, you may not feel comfortable allowing a strangers to see your walls full of scratches, holes, and chipped paint. Please, understand that if you decide to cover up the walls with pictures, decorations, or even a fresh coat of paint, that whatever happened to the wall hasn’t been erased. It runs much deeper than that, you have to be willing to look at into your thoughts and figure out what it is that you need to do to make peace with it. This wall isn’t going anywhere and if you try to tear it down, the entire house goes with it. The wall is apart of you now and for as long as you live.
It can be difficult to allow a person into your life, even if they have good intentions, because if you are like me, we have all had our fair share of disappointments. What hurts the most is when you decide you are going to invite someone in, you expose them to your house and all the rooms (different parts of you) you let them explore and get comfortable, only for them to walk out of the door and leave everything behind them. You begin to relate this person to the feeling of coming home and next thing you know you realize that you only feel at home when they are with you. But, you have to remember that the only thing that has changed is them. You still have your house, your walls, your rooms, and your things. Your mind for instance is much like a room of your house. All the emotions, feelings, and thoughts make up a room to your house. Everything that has happened to you as been gathered together and made in your own perspective. You are the creator, you have designed your room to be exactly the way you want it to be. If you don’t like the way your room looks, you can simply change it. You have that power and that’s the beauty of this entire correlation. You may have one thought, which leads to many thoughts, but you may have to explore deeper in order to find the true meaning of why things are the way they are. If you take a look at your room, you will notice that everything in there defines you in some way. There is a reason everything lays where it is now. You may disagree, and argue that you didn’t put certain thoughts into your mind. This is true, but you also may not realize what you have done is taken a thought from someone else and sat down inside the room and forgot about. Now, you are stuck with it and have to figure out where it goes, and trust me you will find a place for it. Even if it means that you must throw it away, because at times you will realize that you have to clean up and get rid of thoughts that no longer serve their purpose to you. Embrace this, we all have trash to take out.
Another thought I have is that you need to build up the pieces of your house to be more stable and supportive, in order to prepare you for someone else’s company. It can be overwhelming when you allow someone to come into your space and if you aren’t ready for it, then you are more likely to push them out of the door, or remove them from your life. It takes some serious time to work on your house and you must be willing to put in that work. This is especially crucial if you have allowed someone into your house, and they didn’t respect you or appreciate you. One of the most painful things to go through, is allowing someone to walk in the door of you mind, relax in your thoughts, and explore your body and then, they walk out and never come back. Let me tell you something very important, because those people walked through the door, they have left footprints on your life. You get to decide what you want to do with the damage they left behind!
When someone leaves, you have to take time to clean up their mess, and declutter your mind. When you have allowed someone to live with you for quite some time, you may grow attached to them and soon it’s like they belong inside your house. They become apart of the beautiful structure you have spent your entire life working on and making your own. This in itself is a surreal thing to even think about, but such a blissful experience to endure. Think about it, allowing some else to be apart of something you have created is not something that should be taken lightly. That goes for both the person being invited in and the one allows them inside.
Maybe, you are a minimalist and don’t have much furniture or decorations and that is fine. That could mean that you find your meaning in the nothingness around you and even that in itself is beautiful. Maybe you are like me and have tons of pictures, quotes, sentimental items, etc laying around your house. Whatever it is, it is yours and holds value to you personally. Don’t take that for granted, embrace everything you own. Be thankful for every thought, emotion, and feeling that you have because it is what makes up your own mental house.
Taking a spin on this whole comparison, you have realize that you must be willing to leave your house and visit someone else’s. Meaning that, you have to be ready to explore someone’s mind, listen to their thoughts, feel their emotions, genuinely. You can’t stay home forever. You have to be open to changing your decorations, moving your furniture, and re-doing certain rooms in your house. Let me explain this deeper, when you meet someone, you are exposing yourself to their inner thoughts, feelings, energy, everything! If you think you are going to walk away from them, the same person you were when you met them, you are mistaken. Being exposed to other perspectives will alter you own, sometimes subconsciously, this isn’t a bad thing. Everyone you meet whether they benefit you or destroy you, serves a grand purpose in your life. Even the smallest of interactions could make or break you. For example, if you meet a homeless guy on the side of the road and he tells you a quote, you are more than likely going to remember him, especially if this quote is relevant to you. You may enjoy it so much, that you decide to display on it on a wall and read it everyday, in return you will prosper, grow, and become a better person all because of a small experience, that seemed meaningless at the time. You will be surprised how much something so small can mean.
In contrast, you may meet an unpleasant person, who may try to set your house on fire. Be cautious of who you are around, and also whose house you go into. Sometimes, you are going to discover that you don’t like what is inside, and that’s okay. At least you took the time to go inside, explore, and walk away knowing that you don’t feel safe and secure with that person. Your own mind can fool you, so it is wise to say that you have not known someone into they expose you to all their rooms and what is in them. This simply doesn’t happen overnight. You can visit someone’s house a million times, and not know anything about them, because you didn’t look deeper, or you weren’t allowed to. If you decide that the experience you were exposed to isn’t going to benefit you, then it really is quite simple. Here’s what you do, you take whatever you can from this person, metaphorically speaking, and document it for your own use. Take the contents of the experience and place it on the bookshelf in your mind. So, when you are wondering in your house, walk into a room, you will notice it laying right there. You have the option to revisit this memory, or allow it to collect dust. What is important is that remember it and take away wisdom from it. Don’t pretend like it never happened, because once someone walks into your house, you can’t get rid of the mark they made on your soul. That doesn’t have to be a negative thing, you decide!
The people you meet will always be apart of you and you have the power to decide how you want to interpret that. We all hope to find one person whom we can explore each other’s house together. Remember not to abandon your house and make a home in theirs. You can’t possibly expect to get comfortable and leave behind everything you have worked on. Don’t lose yourself, by trying to find someone else! Bring both lives two together and continue to build something together. A relationship can be compared to a house as well, don’t remodel what you have already created, add-on to it. When you come together with someone, you are building a new room from scratch. You two decide what colors to paint the walls, what memories you want to create, and ultimately bring the entire thing to life. It takes too people in this, because the room is something YOU BOTH CREATED. So, if one person walks away, and leaves the other one behind, that person must leave too, allowing the room to remain in it’s current state. This applies to any type of relationship here, don’t think about this as strictly romantic occurrences. Bittersweet, isn’t it?
I think I could continue to expend to this idea all day long, and I very well may update this post later on, but right now I just want to get it out to the world.
Every experience is worth having, find it’s value to your life 😀