Tag Archives: sadness

Transform from Your Emotions

When you feel as if you are falling apart you should take that has a sign that you are growing. All the emotions you are feeling are proof of this process. These emotions are temporary, yet necessary for your personal journey.

For example, when you feel pain you must understand why you are feeling it by asking yourself questions and digging down deep for the answers. You have to remember that you contain the power to overcome those emotions. If you are lonely you must ask yourself why you are searching for something more than yourself. You have always been enough. You are already complete. Feeling lonely is only an illusion. We are connected with the entire universe. If you are scared you must realize that those feelings of fear do not really exist and that you are allowing your negative thoughts to influence your emotions.

Don’t be afraid to feel.

Emotions are created inside of you, therefore you have the power to control them. You must take a step back, allow yourself to go through them and fully fathom the reason for them. Ultimately, you must decide to let them go once and for all in order to create space in your life for thoughts and energy that is going to benefit you.

This process may break you down. It might tear you to pieces. You may feel as if the process will never be over. Let me tell you something, this process will always repeat itself in some way in your life. That is inevitable. That’s the bittersweet reality of how things are in this existence. You must accept that there can be no light without the dark.

But, hey isn’t it better that way? Think about it, if things went the way you wanted all the time, then you wouldn’t ever appreciate those moments of joy. You wouldn’t understand their worth. You wouldn’t even blink an eye at the good times, but by experiencing pain and grief you learn to appreciate the positive moments. Something as simple as waking up will suddenly turn into the most precious gift. You’re entire mentality will start to change once you understand that you are not meant to be the same person. 

Not everything in life is black and white. It’s the gray areas that are most important. Be cautious some things are not as they appear on the surface. Also, understand that your mind will play tricks on you. You must take control and look at all aspects of life from every perspective you can imagine while driving into your emotions.

Keep in mind, that you aren’t meant to stay in your emotions for long periods of time if they are going to have a negative affect on you. Your emotions are simply tools you must use to understand yourself on a deeper, more intellectual way.

We are all fighting a battle between the good and bad, at times it isn’t going to be clear what is right or wrong. Embrace these times. We don’t make mistakes. We create experiences that give us the opportunity to grow.

You personally must burn, blow up, and explode into someone completely new everyday. You aren’t meant to remain the same, because you were designed for transformation.

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Alone is Home

Alone is Home

Safe in the shadows of the world

Hoping to be invisible to all that is around

Eventually quietness surrounds her soul

 Soon the sadness from the past comes flooding in

Memories rise back to the surface

Those she thought were buried long ago

They cannot be forgotten and shouldn’t be remembered

Pain left unhealed, wounds left still bleeding

Scars of yesterday gradually fading away

Only to reappear tomorrow the same as they were today

Wishing the future would soon appear

Because happiness awaits in that far horizon

In which the sun has secretly already set in

It feels so far away, yet it is so near

She feels powerless and unable to change a thing

Agony starts building up inside her mind

Suffocating the present moment

Drowning her with mixed emotions creating her personal apocalypse

Knowing only one can save her from herself

To rescue her from this place she visits too often

This place of emptiness, this state of being alone

This place that is starting to feel a lot like her home

A poem I wrote when I was having thoughts about my past relationships. I wanted my ex to be the one to take away all the pain but now I know that I was always the only one who could rescue myself from the emptiness.

Pain is Just A Thing

Pain. It makes us who we are. We have two options when it comes to pain. Let it destroy us or let it change us. There are experiences in our lives that cause us pain, it is unavoidable. It will happen to us all. We may never understand why we have to feel pain but we must accept that pain is a part of life. There is no escaping pain, there is not a way to get rid of pain. Pain is something we must live with and carry around with us every day for our entire lives. It is a very unfortunate feeling but pain doesn’t have to consume us. We have to understand that pain causes us to feel other negative emotions such as regret, sadness, loneliness, helplessness, shame, rage, anger, agony, distress and misery. These are some of the most commonly recognized emotions because these emotions are what we feel first because of pain. For example, I am dealing with a broken-heart among past feelings due to other bad experiences in my life. All this really hurts all the time right now but I am not letting it conquer me. I feel down, lonely, irritated, frustrated, regretful, sadness, and confused. All because of one thing: pain.

Sorrow is a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. Misery is a state or feeling of great distress or discomfort of mind or body. Agony is extreme physical or mental suffering. Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. Regret is feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, esp. a loss or missed opportunity). Distress is extreme anxiety, sorrow, or pain.

I just wanted to define a few emotions to make a point. All of these are negative and well only hurt us more if we don’t realize pain for what it is. It is alright to feel them and it is impossible not to feel them at some point during our lives. But we can not get too consumed in these emotions because they can lead to more negativity such as depression. Pain also causes us to make poor decisions. We are all guilty of masking our pain, trying to cover it up, and throwing it to the back of our minds. We just pretend it doesn’t exist or ignore it altogether. Some people use alcohol, weed, pills, or other drugs. Some develop compulsive behavior, such as gambling, shopping, pornography, etc. Others use games, books, television, and other activities to escape their feelings. Pain is just a thing, it is what it is. We can not change it, we can not run from it, and we can not hide. Pain will always find you. It doesn’t matter how many beers you drink or how many games you play. Eventually your mind is going to remember what you are trying to avoid and it will come crashing down on you even worse. For example, last night I wanted to drink to have a carefree night without the constant reminder that I lost the man I love. I wanted to stop feeling this knot in my chest for one night. I drink 4 beers and decided to watch a new tv series. You know double up on my escape plan. I should have learned my lesson by now that it never works but sometimes we just have to do it again, just to feel a little better for a short while. I was golden for about an hour and a half, after that I was in tears once again. The pain was coming on stronger than before I started drinking, but I didn’t care so I just downed the whole glass of beer in my hand. Sure, it made me feel better at first, but overall it didn’t change anything. I still hurt the same, I still feel the same knot in my chest. What I am getting at is we need to look at pain and say, “Stop right there. I acknowledge you and yes you hurt me a lot BUT I will not surrender to you. I will feel you only because I know I have to. I have push myself everyday to feel the all the emotions you bring.” We must look at pain in the face, eye to eye and say, “I will overcome you. I will not let you destroy me. I will not let you define me  because I own you.” Pain changes people but it doesn’t have to be for the worst.

Lately, I have been thinking about pain and trying to find something positive to say about it. I have came up with quite a list of things you may not even realize is associated with pain. We can take our pain, and put all those emotions together to create energy. We can turn all that negativity into positive energy. We can make pain our motivation, determination, strength, courage, and our power. We can use pain to drive us. We can use pain to push us towards our goals, our dreams, our passions, and our purpose in life. Pain doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it is all about how you look at it. When you change the way you think about pain, you change the way pain affects your life. When you understand that pain is something that must be felt, then realize that all your feelings can be used to benefit your life as a result you will start to feel much better. For example, I use pain to be my motivation to go to the gym and to become emotional stable. Of course, I feel physical pain because of my work-out but honestly, that is a reminder that I am improving my body. So why not use emotional pain, as a way to improve your mind. Let it guide you into a more positive lifestyle. For me, I am allowing myself to feel so that I can find happiness, love, and peace all within myself. It exists in us all, we must dig deep to feel this way but I can sense myself getting closer everyday. It is not an easy journey and it will not be an quick task to get your mind thinking positive. Yes, I still try to escape sometimes, but that is just part of dealing with pain. At least at the end of the day, I can look back and see how far I have grown because of my past and all the pain I have felt. I wouldn’t have it any other way and I hope to always feel this way. Make pain your inspiration and smile even if it hurts!

Pain makes us stronger. Pain makes us wiser. Pain molds us. Pain changes us. Pain is hope. Pain is your opportunity,

Find yourself by letting go of the past

“If you let the past into your present you will destroy your future”

Being alone these past couple of days has really opened my eyes to everything. I have grown so much over the years and overcame so many things. I can only continue to look into my past and learn from it. I have struggled to let go of certain things in my past and they have caused me problems. But I have finally decided it is time to let it go. I can’t change what happened, I can’t worry and dwell on what if’s or could of beens. I have to take what I have at the present moment and run with it.

Over the years, I have been in relationships and learned a lot from them. At first, I would always blame myself once the relationship was over. Then, before I knew it I was talking to someone new. I never really took the time to fully heal. I never took the time to think about being okay and alone. I always wanted to find someone because i felt i needed someone to make me complete. I know now you can only find what completes you in yourself. You are the only one who can make yourself whole. Peace is in us all, as well as love. We do not need another person to find these things because they exist in all of us. I always made the mistake of telling myself overwise, that I needed my partner to be happy, and without them I wouldn’t know what to do. Currently, me and my ex are seperated and I am desperately hoping we can get back together. I have realized that I do not need him to make me happy, but I want him. I am so glad I have been able to break apart my feelings and find exactly what they mean. Everything happens for a reason, I believe this happened so I could stop carrying the baggage, and emotions of my past on my shoulder. It is over, nothing more can be done. I have to forgive those who have wronged me, screwed me over, and disrespected me, cause the truth be told I am the one who is hurting, not them. Now, I can live my life freely because I am finally living in the present moment. I can see everything I did wrong in my past relationships, I see two possibile outcomes.

1. Me and Brant will talk things out, and work on our personal issues. We will know what our mistakes are and and decide on how to make our relationship healthier and stronger, hopefully it will bring us closer in the end. We will both have to make sacirfices in order for it to work, it is never a one-way street.

2. I will have to let him go, focus on getting over him, and not find another person for a long time. Really take time to heal so everything won’t carry on to my next relationship.

People think you have to be alone to work on your problems but that isn’t true, I plan to continue to look in my past and learn from it. I will be at peace with either outcome and I know I will be okay.

We never really need someone else, and once you come to that realization, wanting someone feels way better than believing you need them. Positive thoughts and feelings are the key to recovery. Any emotion that is weighing you down, analyize why you feel that way, what happened, and decide to let it go and get your life back. Regret, guilt, and fear can consume you. When you figure out the root of why you feel that way, you will understand yourself and feel more in control of your life. Your insecurites will tear you apart, I used to always feel like I was never good enough and i didn’t deserve to have happiness. I used to feel unworthy of life, and hated who I was. Now I can look in the mirror and love who I am. It is so important to love yourself because if you don’t how can you expect to ever be with someone else and love them, if you as a person can’t see love in yourself?

Figure out what you want in life, your dreams, you goals, your wants. Be thankful for every person that you have met in life, i strongly believe everyone you meet can influence your life if you let it, you can always benefit from a loss, or a gain of a person in your life. Appreicate the fact you had the chance to live that moment with them, even if it didn’t end the way you wanted. Learn something from it, you owe it to yourself that.

For the first time in life, I am content. I took the hardest situation i have ever been through and turned it around to help me out of the hole I have digging myself into for years. I hope everyone else can who took the time to read this can take something from my experience to help them.