Tag Archives: sorrow

Pain is Just A Thing

Pain. It makes us who we are. We have two options when it comes to pain. Let it destroy us or let it change us. There are experiences in our lives that cause us pain, it is unavoidable. It will happen to us all. We may never understand why we have to feel pain but we must accept that pain is a part of life. There is no escaping pain, there is not a way to get rid of pain. Pain is something we must live with and carry around with us every day for our entire lives. It is a very unfortunate feeling but pain doesn’t have to consume us. We have to understand that pain causes us to feel other negative emotions such as regret, sadness, loneliness, helplessness, shame, rage, anger, agony, distress and misery. These are some of the most commonly recognized emotions because these emotions are what we feel first because of pain. For example, I am dealing with a broken-heart among past feelings due to other bad experiences in my life. All this really hurts all the time right now but I am not letting it conquer me. I feel down, lonely, irritated, frustrated, regretful, sadness, and confused. All because of one thing: pain.

Sorrow is a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. Misery is a state or feeling of great distress or discomfort of mind or body. Agony is extreme physical or mental suffering. Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. Regret is feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, esp. a loss or missed opportunity). Distress is extreme anxiety, sorrow, or pain.

I just wanted to define a few emotions to make a point. All of these are negative and well only hurt us more if we don’t realize pain for what it is. It is alright to feel them and it is impossible not to feel them at some point during our lives. But we can not get too consumed in these emotions because they can lead to more negativity such as depression. Pain also causes us to make poor decisions. We are all guilty of masking our pain, trying to cover it up, and throwing it to the back of our minds. We just pretend it doesn’t exist or ignore it altogether. Some people use alcohol, weed, pills, or other drugs. Some develop compulsive behavior, such as gambling, shopping, pornography, etc. Others use games, books, television, and other activities to escape their feelings. Pain is just a thing, it is what it is. We can not change it, we can not run from it, and we can not hide. Pain will always find you. It doesn’t matter how many beers you drink or how many games you play. Eventually your mind is going to remember what you are trying to avoid and it will come crashing down on you even worse. For example, last night I wanted to drink to have a carefree night without the constant reminder that I lost the man I love. I wanted to stop feeling this knot in my chest for one night. I drink 4 beers and decided to watch a new tv series. You know double up on my escape plan. I should have learned my lesson by now that it never works but sometimes we just have to do it again, just to feel a little better for a short while. I was golden for about an hour and a half, after that I was in tears once again. The pain was coming on stronger than before I started drinking, but I didn’t care so I just downed the whole glass of beer in my hand. Sure, it made me feel better at first, but overall it didn’t change anything. I still hurt the same, I still feel the same knot in my chest. What I am getting at is we need to look at pain and say, “Stop right there. I acknowledge you and yes you hurt me a lot BUT I will not surrender to you. I will feel you only because I know I have to. I have push myself everyday to feel the all the emotions you bring.” We must look at pain in the face, eye to eye and say, “I will overcome you. I will not let you destroy me. I will not let you define me  because I own you.” Pain changes people but it doesn’t have to be for the worst.

Lately, I have been thinking about pain and trying to find something positive to say about it. I have came up with quite a list of things you may not even realize is associated with pain. We can take our pain, and put all those emotions together to create energy. We can turn all that negativity into positive energy. We can make pain our motivation, determination, strength, courage, and our power. We can use pain to drive us. We can use pain to push us towards our goals, our dreams, our passions, and our purpose in life. Pain doesn’t have to be a bad thing, it is all about how you look at it. When you change the way you think about pain, you change the way pain affects your life. When you understand that pain is something that must be felt, then realize that all your feelings can be used to benefit your life as a result you will start to feel much better. For example, I use pain to be my motivation to go to the gym and to become emotional stable. Of course, I feel physical pain because of my work-out but honestly, that is a reminder that I am improving my body. So why not use emotional pain, as a way to improve your mind. Let it guide you into a more positive lifestyle. For me, I am allowing myself to feel so that I can find happiness, love, and peace all within myself. It exists in us all, we must dig deep to feel this way but I can sense myself getting closer everyday. It is not an easy journey and it will not be an quick task to get your mind thinking positive. Yes, I still try to escape sometimes, but that is just part of dealing with pain. At least at the end of the day, I can look back and see how far I have grown because of my past and all the pain I have felt. I wouldn’t have it any other way and I hope to always feel this way. Make pain your inspiration and smile even if it hurts!

Pain makes us stronger. Pain makes us wiser. Pain molds us. Pain changes us. Pain is hope. Pain is your opportunity,