Tag Archives: writing

Creative Projects

I went to this festival last year and I was extremely inspired by all of the creativity around me. There was music, healing arts, flow arts, paintings, glass-blowing. All types of personal creativity. Some people were dressed in costumes and dancing in their own unique way. I will never forget that place and I intend to gather with that community again in October. I have been exploring different creative projects myself. One being this blog Conquer Your Emotions. I transform my experiences into creative writing including metaphors based on my understanding of those experiences and also others perspectives that I have been exposed to. That is why I really enjoy reading different personal development books, because it is like I am peeling back layers of myself through looking at a personal experience or feeling in a different way. This process of shifting my focus on a different perspective allows me to create my own interpretation of whatever it is that is happening. I deeply want to bring the energy I have inside myself to life. I have tons of ideas and projects pop into my mind daily. I have written many of them down. If you are reading this and ever want to bring a creative idea to life through writing, craft, cooking, etc, let me know. I am open to helping other with their creative goals.

I have been making jewelry as Simply Serene Stones on Etsy. You can visit my shop here. https://www.etsy.com/shop/SimplySereneStones?ref=hdr_shop_menu

I am excited to see where this path leads me. I am setting aside all money made for something I am not sure of yet.  I want to also inspire others to support each other by spreading awareness about one another’s talents/crafts. I think we are already creating communities for self-sufficiently and towards a healthier more sustainable future for the coming generations.

I have also planted a garden this year. I am very new to growing my own food, but I figured why not plant a few things and learn along the way. I have planted arugula, spinach, swiss chard, cucumbers, strawberries, and bell peppers. I still have to plant my sunflower seeds. I may pick up a few more things in the coming weeks.

I also want to write a book about some of my deeply personal traumas and struggles to inspire others and help them heal. I feel like it is my duty to give back the same energy I have received myself. Some topics would include: codependency, attachments, addictions, relationships cycles, fear of abandonment, coping with anxiety. I know I am not in a position to write this book yet, because I am still going through some areas of my life, but this book will hopefully be manifested within the next (5) years.

I have set time aside to do things such as coloring, drawing, and watching movies. It has been tough for me to do something for fun lately. I have been so focused on a goal, achievement, becoming, etc. I have to remember to take time to let things flow. That is where music has seriously helped me let loose. I have secret dance sessions in my room a couple times a week. I let all the energy flow out of me and capture it through moving my body.

There are a couple other things I am wanting to work on, but only time will allow me to do all of these things.

Patience. Determination. and i will just keep going after the life of my dreams, because what else is there to do? Fall in line with society standards?

No way. I’m breaking out of that system, one day at a time & one step at a time all while thinking about a future where people won’t have to deal with the stresses we are facing today.

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Current Thoughts: Blog Origins, Self-Discovery, Writing

Sometimes, I ask myself why am I living my life this way? Wouldn’t it just be easier to go back to college, get a normal job, and just settle into society’s standards. That’s self-doubt and it sucks. It is something I am sure we are all struggling with among many other emotions. That’s why I started this blog, because I wanted to understand my emotions and ultimately conquer them completely. In 2014, I was at the lowest point I have ever been due to foot surgery and break-up ending all at once. I had invested an incredible amount of time and energy into a relationship based upon this fantasy in my head and also I felt like my college degree was useless, because I feared the worst. In less than 4 months, my entire life was turned upside down. I also had an heated discussion with my dad, more like me telling him exactly how I felt, but the anger and hurt came out, so needless to say, we haven’t talked since. Also, my best-friend at the time quit talking to me all together. I think it was like a 10 year friendship, suddenly gone. I was spiraling down.

(The first month I was taking my pain medication mainly, because I was depressed and numbing out was the solution. I wasn’t overtaking my medication, but I made sure not to miss one dose. I know I have an addictive personality and I had to remember that when I thought about getting more of these to take after I took the last pill. Thankfully, I never actually took anymore, but I know not everyone else is not in the same boat. I live in a neighborhood where many people are addicted to them and I don’t want to go down that path. I have seen where it leads. So, I decided to deal with the pain through writing, because that’s all I felt I had left. Whoa, the emotions coming up as I reflect upon that dark time in my past.

Now, I’m wondering if this blog is too personal? Or am I just being vulnerable? Either way, I feel like the only way that we can truly learn from one another is to open up about some of our deepest struggles.

Alcohol soon became a new friend to me over the years 2014-2016. I went through a 3 month straight downward spiral, I would drink about 3-4 beers almost every night. One day, I realized that I was going down the wrong path yet again with alcohol. Honestly, I have always made regretful decisions when I drank too much. So, the next day I quit. Then, last year 2016, alcohol took it’s grip on me again. I was drinking regularly but not always getting drunk. Then, one night I decided to drive when I shouldn’t have. I didn’t want to stay with the person I was drinking with due to personal reasons. Anyway, long story short, I was arrested and was in the booking/holding areas for like five hours. It felt like the longest night I ever lived. I was completely dehydrated, just worked a double, tired, starving, and emotional. Then, I had to face my parents who had been waiting hours for me to be released. I don’t want to talk too much about what happened, because

I am still on probation. More to come 7/7/17.

777, I wonder if that has some significant meaning. I will have to research that later.

Anyways, this blog become a place for me to escape and get real with myself through sharing my experiences with the world. I have made many of my past blogs private due to the amount of personal information shared. At the time, I was writing under this blog anonymously. In recent years, I have wanted to share some of my writings with my family, friends, and people I meet. I wanted to write about the early struggles that brought me to writing and share why I think it is important to write down what you are thinking, feelings, and what you want out of life. This is where things may get a little inspirational for you. Each person interprets information, images, words, etc with their own perspectives which act as filters to create their own meaning of what they experience. Whether it’s music, art, writing, and other creative personal journeys we are all experiencing something that we have imagined in our minds. I have thinking a lot about different theories and perspectives about life and manifestation the life you want by setting intentions, being mindful, being creative, and and practicing gratitude.

I suppose that by writing about my struggles allows me to understand them more, share the experience with others, and truly heal from past experiences. This entire blog lead me to a path of self-discovery. That is why I feel so attached to it and want to continue to envision things for this blog in the future. I want to help others heal from their wounds by understanding their emotions and ways towards living a more positive, healthy lifestyle based on their personal goals and dreams. I feel strongly that I may be able to do that with this blog.

One of my biggest realizations is that I desire to travel. I decided that I am going on a road-trip next year. Hopefully for three months. I am extremely nervous, but I am ready to make this a reality. The feeling I get when I think about discovering new places in nature and being disconnected from the city is unlike anything I can really describe. The power of wanderlust is so deeply integrated within me. I have been experiencing very vivid day-dreams and even dreaming at night about beautiful nature landscapes and the open road. This dream is alive. And that’s something that I want people to think about.

If this is my dream, what is yours? Imagine if we all starting dreaming up a new way of life? A new way of living. A new society. I get so pumped up thinking about the future and all of the positive changes that are already taking places in all the different communities. We are uniting and deciding that in order to see change is the be the change and that is another part of my life mission. Being the change is something that inspires me daily to do what I do. I have many ideas on ways I want to bring inspiration and positivity into people’s lives.

Anyway’s this is my first blog I have written in awhile. Thank you for supporting me on my journey during this life. In a way this is simply an online diary. And a travel blog in the future. Feel free to comment with your journey.

 

Overloaded with Life! :D

For the past couple of months, I have been overloaded with tons of thoughts, ideas, and emotions. I am torn between many different paths in my life at the moment. I am trying to accomplish all of my goals. It is very tough to balance all of my interests and what I would like to do at any given time. I have huge goals involving writing, reading, cooking, fitness, travel, and obtaining new interests all the time. I want to start making jewelry, homemade soaps/lotions/etc, maybe even do some candles, oatmeal mixes (other fitness related foods I could sell). I would love to become self-sufficient and not need to actually work all the time. My creativity is through the roof and it is hard to focus on one thing. I am trying to sort through all of these things and still live my life in “society”.  Yet, where I am happiest and free is in nature. What a struggle, especially living in Nashville, TN which is growing by the minute, literally!

I am also diving into spirituality pretty hard and constantly learning new perspectives about the universe and myself. I am healing my emotional pain from the past, while growing stronger everyday and creating new relationships. So, yeah between social situations, alone time, work, and doing the basics. I find myself struggling to find the time to get everything done that I would like. Trust me, this blog isn’t me complaining, just venting this out, so I can discover which path to focus on at the moment. I figured I would write a little bit about it and see where my mind goes. Tons of blog posts are in progress either mentally, or in drafts on this site.

I strongly want to see this blog turn into something amazing and profitable one day. I know that if I put my concentration into the right sources, all of my goals and dreams stand a chance to come to life.

Whoa, I feel exhausted, but at the same time fully alive. I mean, what more could I ask for? I am never bored, without something to do, or someone to talk to. My life is grand actually, but I have to start focusing on ONE thing at a time, instead of allowing all of this to swirl around in my mind, resulting in me freezing up and doing nothing but staring into blank space…

This is a picture of how I feel. My hand open for whatever the universe decides to throw at me!

“In the midst of my chaos, I found an ounce of clarity!”

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Challenges VS Dreams

A challenge to every writer, artist, cook, etc is realizing that a percentage of your work will never be read, seen, heard or tasted. That can be pretty discouraging, but do not allow yourself to feed into it. If for nobody else, do it for you. Allow your expressions to influence you and continue on with a strong-willed attitude, eventually you will get your message out there. Giving up ensures that chance doesn’t happen, proceeding on guarantees there is always an opportunity out there for you. In a world centered by money, these dreams can seem irrelevant and unprofitable. Remember, you don’t take money out of this life when you pass, you take your soul. You decide which one to pour your energy into. 😀

Like my Facebook page for more motivation and inspiration!

https://www.facebook.com/Conquer-Your-Emotions-1538118779838221

Conquer Your Emotions Facebook

If you enjoy my blog and would love to see more positivity in your life, please like my page on Facebook!! I appreciate all the support. My main mission is to spread positivity and hopefully inspire others on their own personal journeys. I will be sharing personal insight, quotes, articles, videos, and anything that inspires me on the page! Let’s conquer our emotions together! Thanks ♡

https://www.facebook.com/Conquer-Your-Emotions-1538118779838221

Inviting Others Into Your “House”

I was sitting here drinking my usual cup of hazelnut coffee with the blinds open, allowing the sun to radiate through the window and onto my skin this morning. The warmth from the rays felt so relaxing and welcoming. I opened my computer and seen my reflection on the screen, observing how the sun was shining on my skin. What I realized is that this whole experience is extremely metaphoric.

Meeting someone new, is like the sun’s rays. Warm and inviting. You want to know more about them, you want to allow them in, to come inside your house, not just shine through your window. It can be very tough to decide whether or not you want to unlock your door. At times, you may choose to go outside and lock to door behind you. Which, is the safest and most secure way of doing things when meeting someone brand new. You wouldn’t just unlock the door to your house and allow anyone you don’t know inside, exposing them to all of your valuables and personal items.

Really, thinking about this deeper, I believe your body, soul, and mind is like a house. You will open the door at some point, whenever you feel is right, and allow a person into your life exposing them to the good and bad parts of your body, mind, and soul. It’s tough, sometimes we aren’t proud of our house, maybe there’s something that needs to be worked on such as the walls need to be painted. This could be compared to a struggle you are going with personally and therefore, you may not feel comfortable allowing a strangers to see your walls full of scratches, holes, and chipped paint. Please, understand that if you decide to cover up the walls with pictures, decorations, or even a fresh coat of paint, that whatever happened to the wall hasn’t been erased. It runs much deeper than that, you have to be willing to look at into your thoughts and figure out what it is that you need to do to make peace with it. This wall isn’t going anywhere and if you try to tear it down, the entire house goes with it. The wall is apart of you now and for as long as you live.

It can be difficult to allow a person into your life, even if they have good intentions, because if you are like me, we have all had our fair share of disappointments. What hurts the most is when you decide you are going to invite someone in, you expose them to your house and all the rooms (different parts of you) you let them explore and get comfortable, only for them to walk out of the door and leave everything behind them. You begin to relate this person to the feeling of coming home and next thing you know you realize that you only feel at home when they are with you. But, you have to remember that the only thing that has changed is them. You still have your house, your walls, your rooms, and your things. Your mind for instance is much like a room of your house. All the emotions, feelings, and thoughts make up a room to your house. Everything that has happened to you as been gathered together and made in your own perspective. You are the creator, you have designed your room to be exactly the way you want it to be. If you don’t like the way your room looks, you can simply change it. You have that power and that’s the beauty of this entire correlation. You may have one thought, which leads to many thoughts, but you may have to explore deeper in order to find the true meaning of why things are the way they are. If you take a look at your room, you will notice that everything in there defines you in some way. There is a reason everything lays where it is now. You may disagree, and argue that you didn’t put certain thoughts into your mind. This is true, but you also may not realize what you have done is taken a thought from someone else and sat down inside the room and forgot about. Now, you are stuck with it and have to figure out where it goes, and trust me you will find a place for it. Even if it means that you must throw it away, because at times you will realize that you have to clean up and get rid of thoughts that no longer serve their purpose to you. Embrace this, we all have trash to take out.

Another thought I have is that you need to build up the pieces of your house to be more stable and supportive, in order to prepare you for someone else’s company. It can be overwhelming when you allow someone to come into your space and if you aren’t ready for it, then you are more likely to push them out of the door, or remove them from your life. It takes some serious time to work on your house and you must be willing to put in that work. This is especially crucial if you have allowed someone into your house, and they didn’t respect you or appreciate you. One of the most painful things to go through, is allowing someone to walk in the door of you mind, relax in your thoughts, and explore your body and then, they walk out and never come back. Let me tell you something very important, because those people walked through the door, they have left footprints on your life. You get to decide what you want to do with the damage they left behind!

When someone leaves, you have to take time to clean up their mess, and declutter your mind. When you have allowed someone to live with you for quite some time, you may grow attached to them and soon it’s like they belong inside your house. They become apart of the beautiful structure you have spent your entire life working on and making your own. This in itself is a surreal thing to even think about, but such a blissful experience to endure. Think about it, allowing some else to be apart of something you have created is not something that should be taken lightly. That goes for both the person being invited in and the one allows them inside.

Maybe, you are a minimalist and don’t have much furniture or decorations and that is fine. That could mean that you find your meaning in the nothingness around you and even that in itself is beautiful. Maybe you are like me and have tons of pictures, quotes, sentimental items, etc laying around your house. Whatever it is, it is yours and holds value to you personally. Don’t take that for granted, embrace everything you own. Be thankful for every thought, emotion, and feeling that you have because it is what makes up your own mental house.

Taking a spin on this whole comparison, you have realize that you must be willing to leave your house and visit someone else’s. Meaning that, you have to be ready to explore someone’s mind, listen to their thoughts, feel their emotions, genuinely. You can’t stay home forever. You have to be open to changing your decorations, moving your furniture, and re-doing certain rooms in your house. Let me explain this deeper, when you meet someone, you are exposing yourself to their inner thoughts, feelings, energy, everything! If you think you are going to walk away from them, the same person you were when you met them, you are mistaken. Being exposed to other perspectives will alter you own, sometimes subconsciously, this isn’t a bad thing. Everyone you meet whether they benefit you or destroy you, serves a grand purpose in your life. Even the smallest of interactions could make or break you. For example, if you meet a homeless guy on the side of the road and he tells you a quote, you are more than likely going to remember him, especially if this quote is relevant to you. You may enjoy it so much, that you decide to display on it on a wall and read it everyday, in return you will prosper, grow, and become a better person all because of a small experience, that seemed meaningless at the time. You will be surprised how much something so small can mean.

In contrast, you may meet an unpleasant person, who may try to set your house on fire. Be cautious of who you are around, and also whose house you go into. Sometimes, you are going to discover that you don’t like what is inside, and that’s okay. At least you took the time to go inside, explore, and walk away knowing that you don’t feel safe and secure with that person. Your own mind can fool you, so it is wise to say that you have not known someone into they expose you to all their rooms and what is in them. This simply doesn’t happen overnight. You can visit someone’s house a million times, and not know anything about them, because you didn’t look deeper, or you weren’t allowed to. If you decide that the experience you were exposed to isn’t going to benefit you, then it really is quite simple. Here’s what you do, you take whatever you can from this person, metaphorically speaking, and document it for your own use. Take the contents of the experience and place it on the bookshelf in your mind. So, when you are wondering in your house, walk into a room, you will notice it laying right there. You have the option to revisit this memory, or allow it to collect dust. What is important is that remember it and take away wisdom from it. Don’t pretend like it never happened, because once someone walks into your house, you can’t get rid of the mark they made on your soul.  That doesn’t have to be a negative thing, you decide!

The people you meet will always be apart of you and you have the power to decide how you want to interpret that. We all hope to find one person whom we can explore each other’s house together. Remember not to abandon your house and make a home in theirs. You can’t possibly expect to get comfortable and leave behind everything you have worked on. Don’t lose yourself, by trying to find someone else! Bring both lives two together and continue to build something together. A relationship can be compared to a house as well, don’t remodel what you have already created, add-on to it. When you come together with someone, you are building a new room from scratch. You two decide what colors to paint the walls, what memories you want to create, and ultimately bring the entire thing to life. It takes too people in this, because the room is something YOU BOTH CREATED. So, if one person walks away, and leaves the other one behind, that person must leave too, allowing the room to remain in it’s current state. This applies to any type of relationship here, don’t think about this as strictly romantic occurrences. Bittersweet, isn’t it?

I think I could continue to expend to this idea all day long, and I very well may update this post later on, but right now I just want to get it out to the world.

Every experience is worth having, find it’s value to your life 😀

 

 

 

 

Consequences Make You Who You Are

By being thankful for every single thing that happens to me and not having any expectations is what keeps me feeling alive. I don’t allow fear to set in, because I know that no matter what happens, I will have experienced something and learned from it. It’s all about being in the moment and allowing things to flow. Don’t try to make the pieces fit together, just let life happen. When you start to reflect on your life, you will see how the pieces fit together naturally. For the first time, I feel like I am on the verge of understanding and conquering my anxiety. I’m in a state of complete mindfulness and nothing feels better than this.

I feel like the key to feeling alive is to practice mindfulness every single moment of your life and maintaining an attitude of gratitude. The key is to start appreciating everything you have in your life in the moment. You must let go of any and all negative energy, because even the smallest ounce can drag you down without you realizing it. When I speak of negative energy, it could be a person who is bringing you down, literally anything you feel isn’t going to benefit your life. You must let go of all judgement from other people and most importantly you must stop judging yourself. You are a human being, like everybody else in this world. It is up to you to be aware of what you are doing in your life and how you decide to feel about it. For example, just because you live your life a certain way doesn’t mean it is wrong, good or bad. It just means that you are doing what feels right for you at that time. Even if later on you realize that what you did wasn’t the best decision, it doesn’t mean you should get upset over it.

A personal example for me is hooking up with someone random one night while I was super drunk and what I thought was even worse is that it wasn’t the first time I have done something like that. At first, I felt the same old feelings of shame, regret and guilt. But, I started to look at the situation differently. I finally understood that it doesn’t matter what the situation looks like in “black and white” and it doesn’t matter what it looks like to everyone else. The only thing that matters is my happiness and I had to find a way to be okay with something I didn’t believe was okay. So, instead of beating myself up over it, I embraced every single emotion for what it was. I felt used, like a slut, because I allowed a stranger to have sex with me. But, I enjoyed it. That’s what I couldn’t escape from and the fact that I enjoyed it, bothered me at first. Then, I decided why not be okay with that? It happened and it wasn’t bad. It just isn’t something I want to happen all the time. Something clicked inside of me. Suddenly, I wasn’t concerned with “feeling dirty”, “feeling like a slut”, or being “easy”. I can smile thinking about that night and the one that followed it, because I learned something critical about myself from that night. I am in control of my actions while I’m sober, and if I choose to drink obsessively I better be prepared to face to the consequences. Basically, I owned up to my actions and took responsibility. I didn’t put blame on the alcohol, or being in a weird state of mind. I simply looked at it as an experience instead of a mistake.

Let me emphasis on this, because it has been a life changing sentence for me here lately. When you view things that happen to you in your life as mistakes, waste of time, or any other negative way, you are cheating yourself from the opportunity of fulling understanding why that happened. Furthermore, you are closing your mind to the negative thoughts and soon enough begin to feel negative about the situation or event. If you change your perspective on what happened and simply open your mind to the idea that whatever happened/happens is a NOT bad thing and nothing that you do is ultimately wrong. Life is about being alive and by doing so, you clearly make memories with others and act a certain way at a certain time. By being non-judgmental to yourself, you allow yourself to grow into someone you never imagined you could be. Once you let go of all that judgment, you will sense a feeling of relief and peace start to creep up on you. All of a sudden, you are no longer a victim to your self-conscious. By being aware of what you are doing and choosing to not feel any way about them allows you to be free and to live life to the fullest. The only person holding you back from happiness is yourself. Most of the time the only person judging you is yourself. Let that sink it for a minute.

Elaborating on this topic, I would say that it is also best to let go of all expectations. The future is simply something that we can not predict, but we can create. The truth is, we can never know what is going to happen 100% of the time, and I have learned to embrace it. Think about it, if you knew exactly what was going to happen, would life even be enjoyable? It’s almost as if life is a huge mystery and every day you uncover a new chapter. I truly embrace every single day now. Another personal example is today. I am off work, enjoying some Pandora-playing my favorite tunes-, drinking a damn good cup of coffee(quality-local brand), and writing down all these amazing thoughts, while glancing out of the window, noticing how beautiful the sunlight looks in my front yard. It is the smallest things, that mean the most to me. I feel like there is nothing more I could be doing. I quit being so hard on myself with all the expectations. Of course, I have goals, wants, and dreams, that I am going to work towards, but I do believe it is critical to take time to enjoy whatever it is you feel like doing in that moment. There is not a way to ever predict these moments. Trust me. I have told myself for days and days, that I was going to write when I arrived at home, or the next day off I am going to do this and that. But, for the past couple of weeks, I felt that I needed to really reflect and take in every single detail around me, and by doing so, something life-changing would occur. I knew that by taking a step back from writing, that I would discover the things I would later write about. Like, I understood that simply experiencing life and not worrying about writing it down, would result in better writing in the future, aka now. I am over-loaded with ideas, thoughts, inspiration, and overall full of positive energy. Just by writing this blog, I can understand that I have WAY WAY too many thoughts to try to put a title on it. Therefore, consequences make you who are, fits perfectly to me. Everything you do in this life is molding you into someone new, you just have to decide who you want to be, and what who you want to grow into. I could go on and on, and I plan to. But suddenly, I want to look at tattoos. So, that’s exactly what I am going to do. Be in the moment and things will start to work out for you. LAW OF ATTRACTION, next blog 😉